Simulblast! Week 012 of Summer 2014

Posted on Sep 30 2014

Simulblast Summer 2014 Week 012

This is it! The finale of Simulblast! Who will win? Who will lose? Which contestant lost 265 points in one week? Find out!

This Week’s Challenge: Don’t use the letter “u.” If you make it through the entire summary without using it, you’ll earn 30 points. Otherwise, you’ll lose 5 points for each time it’s used!

Samurai Jam ~Bakumatsu Rock~ (Episode Twelve)
Player: Kanashimi
Class: Boss


I can say with a bit of honesty that there is no other show I can think of that had me dreading the end of a series. After it took itself so critically last episode, I was pretty game for tossing the show aside. Regardless, blonde haired kid comes forth and reveals himself as the Shog*n. He has a name, yet since I can’t exploit a certain letter, don’t expect me to refer to ANY of the characters by name… since they all have that letter. Well, besides Okita, Hijikata, and Kai; as for the main characters, welp, I’m down on my fate there.

So blonde boy is pretty lonely and never got what he wanted. He’s also really saddened that the main characters killed Ii despite the fact he never paid attention him. Timpanist boy finds a firearm from his kimono that makes some sort of barrier that protects them from the amplifying speaker. Then a lightning dragon comes from nowhere and begins to wreck the cities as zombified people walk the streets. Something, something, grave things are happening and blonde boy keeps giggling.

So apparently Heaven’s Song is some sort of jinx since the Shog*n took over the nation. Okay, why not? The blonde boy goes back into his castle and the show’s heroes play their jammin’ song to get the front door open. At least, they sorta do, as timpanist boy opens the door for them, and is left behind in some dramatic blast.

So the gang display their *ltra So*ls power and fight off random ghost sam*rai as they disrobe. Hijikata and Okita are left to deal with the ghosts while the remaining two proceed across the castle. As a reminder here: Timpanist boy, Hijikata, and Okita have all legit died. Now it’s time for Cindy to pass, on and all we have left is the red-haired protagonist. The jinx reveals itself behind blonde haired boy as red-haired hero gets to the top of the stairs. Ryo demands that it releases the Shog*n, and by doing so it’d release Japan into a new era.

As bad as this episode is, let’s talk regarding how clever that was for a second. See, this was approximately the time Japan was opening its borders to the rest of the world. When one looks at the show from that angle, this weird conglomerate of history bending has some merit (at least a little). So in a symbolic sense the show was at least able to get the point across that this whole brawl has been nothing more than accepting other civilizations.

Ryo sings with his heart with the main theme song, reviving his friends, I think…? Their rainbowed, angelic bodies spiral into the air and perform together. They’re all naked with feathered wings. Bring help. In this instance, the blonde-haired boy also becomes naked and grows wings for some reason. The zombified people begin to sing the song all across Japan to help the heroes, I think…? In this moment, the Shog*n realizes all of these singing voices are the real *ltra So*l. Oh, also, random fact, no one died… they’re all fine while the show realizes this is meant to be a comedy and Ryo falls from the roof and flips cartoonishly down it into the crowd. He’s clearly saved by a crowd-made sheet that came from nowhere. Le sigh. I don’t have anything good to say, and my mom explained to me if that was the case to simply silence myself, so that’s what I’ll be doing. Still, send halp plz.

Kana Challenge Successful

Watch Samurai Jam ~Bakumatsu Rock~ on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Captain Earth (Episode Twenty-Four)
Player: Bobby Henshin
Class: DJ

Captain Earth

I don’t believe it! Only one more episode till Captain Earth is over. It has been a long and somewhat hard ride. And we still have no idea what the heck is going on! Now is the time to attack the Kiltagang base.

They enter into what is called the Cocoon. This is where the Ego Blocks and the Machine Goodfellows keep coming back to life. Even to the point of reviving Bear. Wait? Didn’t his Ego Block explode in the last episode? Looks like the Princess is able to revive Ego Blocks with her tears. Also we get to see her Machine Goodfellow, which is a violet-colored, gothic lolita type. Now that all of the players are in place, it is time to have the final fight.

Or that’s what we think. Remember the AI that never lies? Yep, he is the main villain now and created his own Ego Block which is the size of a giant meteor. The owners have become the property now as the Kiltagang’s own creation is now on a path to kill everyone and steal the galaxies Libidos. The Kiltagangs try to fight back. Zin and Sora get blasted by a laser and their Ego Blocks explode. Two Kiltagangs down. The new villain now decided to combine with Hana and her ship to become the biggest Kiltagang ever. He even possesses Hana!

That was his goal all along. Now that he has Hana, he has the LivLaster to give unending power to his Kiltagang. It’s not working. The LivLaster won’t work because Hana is not Hana at the moment. Realizing this, he goes mad and tries to leave for Earth. The Kiltagangs try to fight him off but with no luck. Aivatar is next to get blown up. Momo has been having some clearing moments in the last few episodes. She thinks it might not be too bad being an earthling. So she decides to protect Daichi who was in the line of fire to a giant laser. She blocks it with her power.

It’s not working as the shield is breaking. Amarok knocks her away and takes the blast. Realizing that this is a threat that can’t be left to live, they decided to combine their powers and make one giant Ego Block Explosion. This doesn’t seem to work. More like it didn’t even leave a scratch. With all the Kiltagang destroyed, The Villain heads to Earth at light speed. Daichi uses his own powers he happened to obtain in the last ten seconds and teleports right in front of him with the Earth looming behind.

With all the weapons he has, he blows a hole into the Kiltagangs arm. He makes his way to the center of the robot. Sadly, the rest of Earth Engine got destroyed making it there. Hana/villain tries to strike a deal with Daichi so he can live forever with Hana in space. Daichi’s answer is to…kiss her? That’s right; with a kiss he wakes her and expels the AI. With Hana back they both aim their LivLaster to deliver the final attack. Hana is the first to fire. Not even giving him a chance to speak.

With their combined powers, they defeat him. The robot is breaking apart and explodes with them inside. Everyone looks at the sky thinking they are both dead. They know that isn’t correct as Daichi holds Hana in his arms and says “I love the stars from this planet most of all.” Thanks again for joining me these long weeks for Captain Earth. Never make me do that again.

Bobby Challenge Failure

Watch Captain Earth on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders (Episode Twenty-Four)
Player: Elk
Class: DJ

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Stardust Crusaders

Elk has used the power Hasta La Vista, Baby! This power allows him to skip a week of Simulblast with no penalty!

Watch JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

The Irregular At Magic High School (Episode Twenty-Four)
Player: Kayarath
Class: Content Provider

The Irregular At Magic High School

The invasion is still going on here. The Great Asian Alliance is invading, and that type of thing sort of defines the plot for a while. The whole cast is either fighting off invaders or helping their classmates retreat to safety. That one sentence is literally ninety percent of the plot, so I could literally end this piece right now and call it a night. If you want detail, I guess I can go on.

The Red Prince is literally exploding people left and right. While it may not as great at the protagonist’s disintegration magic, it gets the job done and looks gory to boot. After he gets his school mates to the buses, he heads towards the Kanto Magic Association Headquarters. While his friend the Cardinal doesn’t want him to go, the Prince feels it’s his obligation to defend his homeland and head back into the fray. Other high level magic users feel the same way.

Meanwhile, the First Magic High School gang has elected to heads toward the shelters. Their plans got messed up when the mechs or “walking tanks” show up. First High deploys two small battalions of five each to defend their classmates until help arrives. Good thing two of them have wealthy daddies who can send helicopters to retrieve them. If there’s one time you want to exploit your family’s power for personal gain, then this is it.

The protagonist dons Iron Man-like body armor and takes to the skies to fight the good fight. He flies around and hampers the enemy army for ten minutes or so. Then he checks on his classmates to discover that two of them are dead! A dramatic moment is spoiled when the protagonists literally save cheats to bring them back to life. This is getting plain cheap here folks. Maybe something dramatic will happen in the finale? I doubt it…

Kayarath Challenge Failure

Watch The Irregular at Magic High School on Daisuki or talk about this episode on our forums.

DRAMAtical Murder (Episode Twelve)
Player: Sho
Class: Content Provider


Sho failed to submit his summary in time. He is considered a No Show, loses a dollar of his original bid, and gains no points this week.

Knightshade No Show

Watch DRAMAtical Murder on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Terror in Resonance (Episode Twelve)
Player: Whiskahs
Class: Technomancer


Everything comes to a head in the final episode of Terror in Resonance, with the atomic weapon being detonated in the upper atmosphere. This has the effect of knocking out all of the non-shielded electronic systems in Japan and supposedly results in no deaths. Shibazaki ends up figuring out that the goal of the whole exercises was to draw so much attention to Nine and Twelve that the world would be pressuring Japan to uncover and reveal the truth behind the project that had ruined their childhoods and left several other children dead.

A day or so after the explosion Nine, Twelve, and Lisa wander to the facility where the numbers were raised. Despite some somber moments, the overall feel of the situation is pretty upbeat as the three mostly play around. Lisa is the only one surprised when Shibazaki arrives to arrest the two boys, but in an unexpected twist the Americans show up in helicopters (apparently possessing of the only equipment in the country that was properly shielded against the EMP generated by the atomic blast) to kill the two boys. It turns out this is done in an effort to cover up American involvement with the Athena Project, and, despite Shibazaki trying to protect them, both boys are shot to death by the snipers flying around overhead.

The show ends with a flash forward to a year later with a slight monologue by Lisa with both she and Shibazaki visiting the grave markers of Nine and Twelve.

Overall I thought the series wrapped up pretty well. I was worried with the way things were going halfway through that the series would end with a hollywood wrap-up and all the characters would somehow walk away from the events totally unscathed. That said, it did feel rushed, not unlike the past two or three episodes, but the execution was still alright.

If I could do the series over differently there would be two main changes I would make. The first change would be to increase the run length to maybe 24 episodes. The pacing of the final few episodes was really awkward as were a few others earlier in the series and I feel like by increasing the series length those problems could be eliminated by removing the necessity of covering what all the characters are doing every episode. The second change I would make would be to give Lisa a bigger role. Given the way the intro episode, I assumed Lisa would go on to do more things or be given the opportunity to grow as a character, but that never happened.

Despite my complaints I’m super happy I got this show this season. It was leaps and bounds better than No Game No Life

Aero Challenge Failure

Watch Terror in Resonance on Funimation or talk about this episode on our forums.

Week 012 Tally

  1. Kanashimi: 2105
  2. Bobby Henshin: 2010
  3. Elk: 1780
  4. Kayarath: 1740
  5. Sho: 1430
  6. Whiskahs: 1395
  7. The Editor: 135

Week 012 Token Counts

  1. Kanashimi: 8 Tokens
  2. Bobby Henshin: 5 Token
  3. Elk: 8 Tokens
  4. Kayarath: 2 Token
  5. Sho: 5 Token
  6. Whiskahs: 4 Token
  7. The Editor: 2 Token

Next week’s challenge: There isn’t one!

Make sure to vote for your favorite review below! You can give your favorite a Token!

You Might Also Like...