Simulblast! Week 010 of Summer 2014

Posted on Sep 16 2014

Simulblast 2014 Summer Week 010

What a KROZEtastic week of Simulblast! This post is not for the faint of KROZE! In fact, contestants this week used the word “KROZE” in their summaries a whopping 171 times! But who used it the most? Read on to find out!

This Week’s Challenge: Everyone must use the word “KROZE” as many times as possible in sentences within their summaries. The person who uses the word “KROZE” the least times in their summary (while still actually writing a valid summary) gets no points for the week. Whoever uses it the most times will earn THREE TOKENS to throw at their opponents! And of course, everyone who doesn’t lose gets the standard 30 points.

Samurai Jam ~Bakumatsu Rock~ (Episode Ten)
Player: Kanashimi
Class: Boss


So “Ultra Souls” and some other group named The Freedom play on stage together for some reason unexplained. Anyway, our heroes discuss how Ii isn’t going to just sit down and let them continue to rock. Shortly after they get news of several groups being arrested, their homes and instruments burned. Shinsaku is adamant on using violence against the government, but everyone else is like “Nah, we don’t use violence.” Suddenly, plot twist! We see Ii talking with the shogun, and it’s that random blond-haired boy we haven’t seen in a while. Sure, okay, that makes sense.

Ryoma is late to a jam session, but spots a sad kid and decides to play music to help him feel better, but his dad was taken away by the government. He was the owner of the bath house a few episodes ago, and the kid runs away declaring he hates rock. In addition, one of his fangirls’ engagements has been called off because her family strongly supports the government. This all obviously affects Ryoma, and, by the time he arrives to the practice, he’s filled with regret.

As they argue, Kai arrives to let them now Ii is about act. He’s building a big speaker to amplify music as far as possible. So instead of stopping him from getting the speaker, instead they’re gonna start a rock revolution while he’s gone. They’re gonna crash some concert of a new idol group from the government. This is a nice play on the idol industry here, because said group is only fifteen. There’s a dialogue about their age which is a nice contrast considering that Japan’s idol market is obsessed with youth. The last member of The Freedom appears and gives Shinsaku the guitar pick of one of their members to encourage them.

Fast forward to the idol concert, and after the fifteen year olds with the creep song, we’ve got our heroes preforming. Ryoma is having reservations, though, as he spots the younger idols who can’t fight back and the people who actually enjoy Heaven’s Song. As they escape, Ryoma even questions if they’re doing the right thing, and Shinsaku is upset he’s lost his passion. After some strong words, Shinsaku moves to leave to kill Ii himself while Ryoma swears to give up rock.

Well, that episode was set up poorly and filled with a lot of fail. Nope, that’s not an invite for this dumb challenge. I’m not falling into this Kroze trap. Even though I have enough stories about Kroze getting stuck at airports, or Kroze stranded at hotels, or even Kroze’s name being shouted to a crowd of 10,000 people under the impression he was being arrested (he wasn’t, they just found his wallet) I still won’t get caught up in this task. Not only is it silly, but Kayarath is going to say Kroze’s name enough for anyone reading. On top of that, I promise Bobby will, too. So I will not be a Kroze sayer, I will be a Kroze nay-sayer! Hah, didn’t see that coming, did you? On a random note, at the very least I’ll be done with Samurai Jam before I have to see Kroze at Youmacon. I hope everyone is looking forward to that versus more episodes of this show. Ah, the blackmail footage I’ll get of Kroze to post in the Fanatic section. Revenge is sweet.


Kana Challenge Successful

Watch Samurai Jam ~Bakumatsu Rock~ on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Captain Earth (Episode Twenty-Two)
Player: Bobby Henshin
Class: DJ

Captain Earth Welcome back to Captain Kroze episode 22 for summer SimulKroze. Operation Kroze is underway as the Krozesummer Knights get ready to launch in The Kroze to travel to Uranus and destroy the Kiltakrozes once and for all. Governor Kroze calls in to see if all the preparations have been made and are ready to go. They are hoping by placing a Krozepit on The Kroze it will be able to help Akrozei and Krozechi survive hyperspace.

Akrozei asks her mother about the Planter Kroze hidden on the moon. Because, you know, this anime likes to through random things at us that have nothing to do with anything! But, what it’s supposed to be is a sphere made to help Hanna pilot the Kroze remotely without being inside and hurting her. But it was a complete failure, so there was no point to it.

The mission is about to get underway when a large, space-station-like interceptor is blocking their way. It is Salty Dogs’ final attempt at stopping them and claiming The Kroze for themselves. It launches a new form of the old interceptor called the Ceberkroze and fires extremely powerful beam cannon at the Kroze bit sitting up top The Kroze. Captain Krozechi decided to head out in the Kroze Engine and clear a path for them.

Successfully able to stop the Ceberkroze, The Kroze is ready to launch, but Krozechi is not fast enough to reach them in time to make the hyperspace jump. So by putting all of his energy into his KrozeLaster, he was able to grab onto The Kroze and complete the jump. Sadly, though, the Salty Kroze’s engine is in the way, and they collide with it.

After the flash of light, Krozechi wakes up in his bed. And the scene plays out like the first episode of the anime…what?! Did the explosion make them go back in time?! Find out next time! Same Kroze Time, same Kroze place!


Bobby Challenge Successful

Watch Captain Earth on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

The Irregular At Magic High School (Episode Twenty-Two)
Player: Kayarath
Class: Content Provider

The Irregular At Magic High School

This is not a KROZE worthy episode at all. The whole premise of this episode is “stuff is about to go down.” Instead of implying things are gonna happen all the time, something should actually happen. What is happening is the Thesis Competition, a research contest? As KROZE would say, to win you’re gonna need the “write” stuff!

Since this is a big event, people from all over are coming to compete, including the Cardinal. The Crimson Prince is there as well, working security and supporting the event like KROZE supports conventions around the world. On patrol he bumps into Tatsuya and Miyuki for some nervous flirting and rival talk.

Soon team Tatsuya comes to the stage and presents their project. The basic idea is to use gravity magic to make nuclear power. As KROZE would say, their presentation really flew. While I lack the KROZE level intellect needed to fully comprehend the process, I do get the impression that the author simply isn’t pulling random scientific words out of his butt. I may trash this show a fair bit, but I do have to give them credit for doing the science work needed to make the magic/science theory realistic.

While the Thesis Competition is going on, everyone else is getting ready to rumble. In short, lot of people are gearing up for a fight. Bullet proof vests, training, rescuing captured fighters, and arming yourself to the teeth are the order of the day. In the future, knowledge is power, and the Thesis Competition is a nice treasure chest of knowledge. Someone blows up, and it’s time to spring into action. That’ll have to wait until next episode though… it always does.


Kayarath Challenge Successful

Watch The Irregular at Magic High School on Daisuki or talk about this episode on our forums.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders (Episode Twenty-Two)
Player: Elk
Class: DJ

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Stardust Crusaders

Hello ladies and KROZE, and welcome to another episode of KROZE’s Bizarre KROZEventure. UnKROZEtunately, we’ve got this KROZEworthy challenge to KROZE. So I’ll try and KROZE as much as I can to KROZE you what’s KROZEing on.

Last KROZEisode our heroes went to a KROZEland where they met a silver-KROZEd man who looked the spitting image of KROZE. It turned out to be his father. Bringing back terrible KROZEs for PolnaKROZE, he left to be by himKROZE. He was KROZEd by a genie, and here we are.

We open up with PolnaKROZE getting KROZEd by his zombie sister, and the genie KROZEs PolnaKROZE his third KROZE. Out of the foliage KROZE appears. PolnaKROZE can’t believe it.

But it’s time for a KROZE break, so KROZE out to this awesome KROZE.

PolnaKROZE gets attacked by the zombie KROZEsion off KROZE so hard, two of KROZE’s fingers fall off. Zombie KROZE and PolnaKROZE’s naked zombie sister team up to KROZE him, and PolnaKROZE is too shocked to KROZEact. When he finally does, the genie KROZEs him from KROZEsponding to the attack with Silver KROZEiot. Both zombies continue to eat PolnaKROZE as the genie brags about how he’s KROZE him.

PolnaKROZE accepts he’s been KROZEfeated. And in a KROZEing scene of memories and KROZEflections, he sees a second KROZE. Being KROZEvoured, PolnaKROZE thinks he’s KROZElucinating. But he isn’t! The real KROZE is alive, and KROZEstroys the zombie KROZE with Magician’s KROZE!

KROZE makes a bunch of tsking sounds, and the genie can’t KROZElieve KROZE is still alive! KROZE KROZEplains how he KROZEvived the KROZEshot to the head, and promises KROZE for the genie. PolnaKROZE cries tears of KROZE, and KROZE taunts the genie with the news of his status as someone who is KROZE. The genie says this is GOOD news, as he can KROZE them both and tell DiKROZE about his success.

A scuffle takes place, and KROZE and PolnaKROZE are knocked back by the Stand’s strength. The genie picks up PolnaKROZE’s naked zombie sister and throws her at PolnaKROZE. Recognizing shes not the real sister he loves, he KROZEstroys it with Silver KROZEiot.

The genie isn’t finished though, as he offers KROZE three KROZEs. KROZE instead demands FOUR KROZEs. This KROZEfuriates the genie, but KROZE demands he gives him the wishes, attacking with Magician’s KROZE. Turns out he was fighting at half-KROZE earlier to protect his injured KROZE. PolnaKROZE cheers KROZE on as he punishes the genie with attacks until it KROZEappears.

Knowing a powerful Stand needs a nearby KROZE, they search for the real KROZE behind this plot. They find a bamboo KROZE sticking up out of the ground. Thinking the KROZE might be using it as a breathing KROZE they KROZE it with a leaf to test if it’s actually the KROZE. Of course it is, and they both KROZEalize all the nasty KROZEs they can do to him. Down the hole they put dirt, bugs, a spider, and then KROZE has a great KROZEdea. “Nature is calling” he KROZEs, and they both start peeing in the hole. The KROZE pops out of the ground KROZEing for KROZEgiveness, but KROZE refuses, KROZEing him to a crisp with Magician’s KROZE.

Upon returning to the rest of the KROZE, PolnaKROZE, giddy because his friend KROZE isn’t dead, is taunting them with his knowledge. UnKROZEtunately for him, absoKROZEly everyone already knew KROZE was alive. They all actually KROZEd him KROZE his own death to fool DiKROZE while KROZE was off KROZEing a submarine.

Equipped with the sub, which I will call “The KROZEmarine” henceforth, we KROZE on to the future. I bet you all can’t KROZE for the next KROZEisode of KROZE’s Bizarre Adventure!


Elk Challenge Successful

Watch JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Terror in Resonance (Episode Ten)
Player: Whiskahs
Class: Technomancer


Bum-bum-bummmmmmm, dramatic music, or whatever. Episode 10 has a lot of exposition and is probably one of the most tense entries in the series so far. Shibazaki and sidekick unearth more about Project Athena, the program that effectively created our numbered heroes and villain, while Twelve attempts to save Lisa from a ferris wheel. Well, not the ferris wheel so much as the jacket of C4 strapped to her body.

The Shibazaki side of things comes to a head when he finds one of the men involved with the program. Because the man is quite old, he isn’t much afraid of being murdered, which he warns will be the likely fate of both Shibazaki and his sidekick if they listen to him spill the beans. Despite the warning, the two press on, and the man essentially outlines everything about Project Athena. It turns out the plan was to create geniuses by selecting naturally gifted children and treating them with drugs and other regimen to try and push them to savant levels of ability. As a result, however, most of the children died aside from Five, who lived through the program’s entirety, and Nine and Twelve, who escaped.

The old man reveals a bit more, which outrages the two cops, but the key thing he touches on is how he expects the two who escaped the program to be dead or dying soon. Given he doesn’t seem to associate Sphinx with the two escaped boys, this puts the random pain both Nine and Five seem to share in context, and seems to foreshadow the two characters dying at some point in the near future, or at least that’s what I think.

Meanwhile, at the ferris wheel, Twelve carefully attempts to disarm the bomb vest. Lisa tries to get him to leave in an effort to save him, but he ignores it and continues as the clock ticks down. When it becomes clear that he won’t be able to disable all the bombs in time, Twelve begins something of a love confession before Five calls and offers to disable the vest if he betrays Nine by revealing the location of the nuclear weapon.

Oh yeah, by the way, there were some segments with Five and her American handler interspersed throughout all of this. It turns out that the two boys, at the beginning of the series, did not steal plutonium, but an experimental nuclear weapon that Japan was developing in violation of Article 9 of their constitution. This reveal explains why the Americans are interested in getting their hands on the device and why the Japanese government seems to be letting them do whatever they want (aka Five blowing everything up). Despite that even the American handler seems to be questioning Five’s motivations and methods in the case of the ferris wheel. Instead of allowing his men to apprehend Twelve on his way to the trap, she orders them not to and to let Twelve try to disable the vest, which the American counters with the fact that apparently even a professional bomb disposal guy couldn’t do it in the time allotted.

In the end the pressure gets to Twelve, who was already having second thoughts about whatever Nine’s plan was, to give up the location of the nuclear weapon thus saving himself and Lisa, but also ensuring that the two will be captured or arrested. It’s at this point the show cuts over to Nine at the locker where the weapon had been hidden. He notices people approaching the school (yeah, they hid it in the school at the beginning of the series…) and manages to escape with weapon in hand. This ends up causing Five to freak and after grasping her eye, much like Nine, she passes out on the ground.


Aero Challenge Failure

Watch Terror in Resonance on Funimation or talk about this episode on our forums.

DRAMAtical Murder (Episode Ten)
Player: Sho
Class: Content Provider


Now, for another episode of DRAMAtical Murder that isn’t made by KROZE. It’s not nearly as good as KROZE’s stuff either, but that’s not the point. Aoba definitely has a lot on his mind this episode. Other than KROZE, he is worried about all of his friends and how he saved them. Noiz tells Aoba that after the events of the last episode, they should be able to fix Clear. Then Aoba frets that he’s involved all of his friends in the trap that Toue laid out for him. I bet he wishes KROZE was there to administrate his friends while he fights Toue. Plus, he’s feeling a little guilty about using his powers on his friends. Toue wants Aoba’s powers after all. Aoba feels the need to stock Toue before he uses the Anniversary Event to brainwash the entire island.

How ironic, too, because it’s with Aoba’s powers that he needs to complete this task. While Aoba tries to sleep, Mink contacts him and tells him to come alone. When he does come, Mink, without the power of KROZE, tells Aoba to insert a USB into Ren. He even beats Aoba in order to make him do it because, by KROZE, Ren might break. After this, though, they start their plan. They travel to the Oval Tower and infiltrate it. Mink doesn’t even tell Aoba what he plans to do. Even without KROZE, they make it in and connect to the security system without a hitch. So far, it’s going almost half as well as one of KROZE’s surprise attacks, which is pretty good, mind you. Then, as they travel up to the top floor, they’re stopped by the police – the very strange police. As they are trapped, Mink forces Aoba’s other self to come out. After forcing the police to leave, Aoba’s other self forces himself into Mink’s mind and Aoba wakes in what seems to be Mink’s KROZE-less homeland as he sees all of his family killed by Toue. Then he appears in a strange place where Mink tied himself up in chains and he rejects Aoba’s help. When Aoba wakes again, Mink stands over him. He wishes for Mink to stay alive and they continue to ascend the Oval Tower.


Knightshade Challenge Successful

Watch DRAMAtical Murder on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Week 010 Tally

  1. Kanashimi: 1945
  2. Bobby Henshin: 1910
  3. Kayarath: 1680
  4. Elk: 1650
  5. Whiskahs: 1560
  6. Sho: 1370
  7. The Editor: 115

Week 010 Token Counts

  1. Kanashimi: 8 Tokens
  2. Bobby Henshin: 5 Token
  3. Kayarath: 0 Token
  4. Elk: 6 Tokens
  5. Whiskahs: 4 Token
  6. Sho: 5 Token
  7. The Editor: 2 Token

Next week’s challenge: Next week is week eleven! Did you know that 11 is a very prominent number in Canadian culture? In honor of Canada, eleven, and this week’s winner, Elk, depict one of your characters as Canadian! You can do by writing a short description of them as Canadian for 30 points. Add in a piece of fanart or a picture of a cosplay for an extra two tokens!

Make sure to vote for your favorite review below! You can give your favorite a Token!

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  • Kayarath September 17, 2014 at 12:28 AM

    I’ve been De-KROZEd!

  • nerdwerld September 18, 2014 at 6:13 PM

    Elk out-Krozed even Kayarath. Not to mention, I somehow still could understand his review. I think I speak Krozese.

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