Simulblast! Week 008 of Summer 2014

Posted on Sep 02 2014

Simulblast 2014 Summer 008

Do our players know their ABCs? Why not read about some anime and find out… That’s how we got good grades in English after all.

This Week’s Challenge: The powers are flying this week! Let’s keep it going. This week’s challenge is to make sure your summary uses each letter of the alphabet to earn 30 points (within words; no cheating, guys!). As an added bonus, each additional time you use every letter beyond the challenge is worth a Token (for a maximum of 3 tokens!).

Samurai Jam ~Bakumatsu Rock~ (Episode Eight)
Player: Kanashimi
Class: Boss


So since I was able to take a vacation from last week… let me give a quick recap of the episode I missed. First off, the budget came back from wherever it had been hiding for six episodes, so there’s that. In addition, Hijikata and Okita essentially leave the Shinsengumi, but our trio is being blamed for Kondo’s death. Ryoma comes out of nowhere and essentially asks Hijikata and Okita to join them to defeat Ii, but Shinsaku is having none of that. Ryoma declares they have Peace Souls, so there’s no reason they shouldn’t. Kogorou essentially says that, while it would be beneficial, it might also be worrisome to work together right away with concerns of betrayal.

And so, Ryoma just wants to throw a concert in the middle of nowhere since Okita and “Hijizo-san” are taking action. So insert surprise concert in the middle of nowhere and, oh… there’s that bad CG. It seems like the bad CG scares them away (or someone is tracking them, not really sure because Kogorou’s samurai radar goes off).

They find out later their Shaggy Sensei is alive and will be preforming a concert. I smell a trap (and my episode froze at the same time, so that’s a telling sign). Kogorou immediately picks up on it being a trap, but Shinsaku is too fevered to want to see his teacher. So they’re going to another concert that’s a trap… They run into a guy named Kai who used to rock with their sensei. The lights turn on and it’s really him. What is going on with this episode? Oh, evil music, okay… makes sense. Ii seems to be controlling the music from wherever he is and making it brainwashing or whatever, but Shinsaku jumps onto stage and asks him why his music is so different. Blah, blah, blah everyone is mind-controlled and “Hijizo-san” comes out of nowhere to save them and explain it’s a rock version of Heaven’s Song. Fireworks begin to go off as Okita charges in on a horse hooked up with wires to fix the whole brainwashing thing. Yeah, I just typed that sentence; wanna fight?

Kai declares Shaggy Sensei isn’t of this world anymore, and if you release him from being controlled, his soul will move on. So this is essentially a repeat of the last episode but with Sho instead of Kondo. Insert horrible CG and our trio’s random concert as they declare to their sensei that this is real rock. Hijikata and Okita agree to rock with them to help release everyone from the spell. So they’ve formed a full band (and I’ll form the head, hur, hur, hur…). Peace Souls activate, and everyone loses their clothes for a few seconds before the animation team conveniently forgets. Shaggy Master’s being floats into the sky as he’s release and everyone gets all sad. At least they would be if Ryoma didn’t ask them to jam together.

So that was the episode I missed, now onto this week’s episode. We suddenly have a bunch of flower idols that people are meeting at a handshaking event. Is this the AKB48 of this show? Kill it with fire. I’m checking out right now. They call themselves Dark Cherries, and apparently they don’t have any fans, but they do have a manager. I’d like to remind everyone that this is in a period of time very different from our own. So to gain exposure they’re going to take out Ryoma’s group and the reward will be getting on a big stage. Great, three girls again our three guys (and they’re misunderstood villains because this is a fanservice show).

So basically the girls start working at the pizza place where Ryoma works and ta-da, they get to meet their prey. Er, they’re having fantasies of killing our heroes, yet it appears to be simply torture fanservice. I’m in a weird place right now; I don’t know if want. Halp. Water torture porn and Ryoma asking for more… haaaaalp. ._. No, no, not Kogorou next. Well, at least this is the first time the show has given me proper fanservice, but it’s really on the fetish side. This part is quite exhausting…

Either way, the Dark Cherry girls totally fail and simply daydream about our protagonists. Ryoma runs into the brown-haired girl who has a dagger slipped into her kimono sleeve. She asks what he’s aiming for and he declares his passion will reach the moon! She puts the weapon away as if somewhat touched by his childishness, but inquires how he expects to get there. Ryoma’s obvious answer is he needs a ship as big as Nijo Castle! She continues to question him before declaring he’s an idiot. Are these shoe-horned love interests? Do not want. Ryoma picks her up and declares he’ll take her to the room with them.

The other girls realize she’s in love the next day, so it’s time to kill everyone on their own… or spy on Okita as he’s changing. Okay, that’s the first time the episode made me laugh is when Okita called them perverts and asked if they wanted him to sign his underwear and give it to them. They ran off frickin’ quick after that! They attempt to trick Hijikata next, but fail which was to be suspected. Due to some horrible theorizing, all three girls think they’re now in love (with whom, I have no clue).

The girls and manager are discovered hiding during our heroes’ band practice. Okita wants to kill them, but Ryoma asks for their reasoning. When they explain they’ve failed so often, Ryoma begins to weep and declare they have a huge amount of passion. Kogorou declares that they should let them sing to understand their true passion. At the very least they have a pretty good song, but the boys don’t seem to be impressed with their performance. It makes sense now that they’re screeching, but I didn’t think the music was all that bad… So they give the girls money to head to America because they’ll understand their act there.

This episode kinda hurt my brain, and I don’t think I can watch two episodes back to back of Bakumatsu Rock. Most of the dialogue by the three new characters, who were quickly ejected, was literally just quibbling. It’s kinda mind-numbing. It’s just too much for me to handle…

Kana Challenge Successful

Watch Samurai Jam ~Bakumatsu Rock~ on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Captain Earth (Episode Twenty)
Player: Bobby Henshin
Class: DJ

Captain Earth Lovely! Beating! Heart! The popular Japanese idol Ai-Chan is made governor for a day on board the Satellite Tendaku. Welcome to episode 19. Now if Ai-Chan reminds you of anything, it is actually Aivatar from the Planetary Gears. What are her plans, I wonder? Well, we’ll get to that later as another passenger on this ship heads to the satellite is none other than… oh no… not Creepy McJerkface! Yes, it looks like Creepy McJerkface is back and hatching a plan for Salty Dog. But let’s go back a bit.

It’s been a few days since the Australian escape, and the Midsummer’s Knights are holding a meeting for the Earth’s defense force at the satellite. The gang is all there except for Akari, but she is on the same ship heading there with Creepy McJerkface and Ai-Chan… which they do not recognize. Seriously, you didn’t recognize him?! I blame Ai-Chan… I mean Aivatar or whoever she is. But Ai-Chan does some press and shoots with the crew and has a short interview with Akari’s mom, the governor.

She even gets to meet the Midsummer’s Knights which to me screams “DOES NOBODY RECOGNIZE HER!?” Seriously people! This is our defense force?! We are royally screwed. Later, Daichi and Hana go and see the spaceship meant to be the Ark for the future of mankind while Teppei and Akari have a moment on the observation deck. And I mean have a serious moment. Teppei talks about if he were to be kissed, would he awaken to hate humanity like the other Kiltagangs. Would the other person see the tens of thousands of years of darkness that he has seen? Akari takes this as Teppei finally coming to her for help, and she says she sees it as god delivering him to her, and she kisses him. What!? A Teppei X Akari romance?! I can’t say I didn’t see this coming, but well played on the extremely emotional delivery. But the time after the kiss is shortly enjoyed as there is an explosion that makes the satellite shake like an earthquake, and Salty Dog’s plan is underway to, you guessed it, kidnap Hana. Come on Creepy McJerkface, you got to have something better to do like… go to a club or… knit? I don’t know.

Also, let’s not forget about Ai-Chan who brought her Machine Goodfellow with her too… swell. Well I’m going to end the review here because I’ve realized that I’ve been reviewing the episode in it’s entirety. So if you want to see the drama and romance unfold, go and watch the episode yourself on Crunchyroll. I hope you enjoyed it and I will see you next time when the Ai-Chan makes he plans go into motion.

Bobby Challenge Successful

Watch Captain Earth on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders (Episode Twenty)
Player: Elk
Class: DJ

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Stardust Crusaders

Welcome queens and kings, ladies and lords, to Death 13, part 2. We’ve got ourselves a case of the evil babies, and no sink to throw them in PT style. Before we get to that though we’re going to open up with Stand Proud. Such a good OP.

So night has fallen in Saudi Arabia, and Kakyoin is still troubled. Polnareff thinks he might be losing it. We however know that baby IS evil, and it’s follow up murderous monologue is there to remind us. Joseph gives us a baby food recipe involving eggs, bread and banana, and Polnareff approves.

While the evil brat mentally complains about Polnareff eating his food a scorpion crawls into his little crib. He kills it with a swift safety pin attack. Kakyoin saw this however and alerts everyone. Kakyoin searches for it, and can’t find anything. Everyone thinks he’s even crazier than before.

Joseph goes to feed the kid, but he refuses. He actually hid the scorpion in his mouth. Kakyoin shows off the BABY STAND carving on his arm. Of course, since they already think he’s actuing quite queer they think he’s just cutting himself.

Kakyoin takes matters into his own hands summoning Heirophant Green to attack, but Polnareff knocks him out before anything can happen. The baby celebrates his victory, now that no one suspects him. While their backs are turnes he spits out the scirpian he’s been hiding in his mouth the whole time, and everyone prepares for bed.

They all wake up in the nightmare theme park, which I’m going to name “Xanadu”. Why? I dunno. It feels right. But now that they’re dreaming Polnareff remembers everything. Death 13 ties up Polnareff with his own hair, makes Joseph’s artificial hand grow to massive size, and starts chocking Jotaro with the large chain attached to his collar.

Now that they’re trapped Death 13 shows his clown face. Jotaro goes to call Star Platinum, and while Polnareff tells him it’s useless, as they couldn’t in the last dream, it appears. Unfortunately for our heroes, it beats up Jotaro instead. It was a fake created by the baby in this dream world.

The baby explains you can only bring with you what you have when you fall asleep, so only if your Stand was out could you bring it. Heirophant shows up, and starts chocking Death 13, which also starts suffocating the baby. As Heirophant was out when he was knocked out, he brought it into the dream world. Everyone apologizes for thinking Kakyoin was crazy, but Kakyoin thanks Polnareff for knocking him out.

A fight ensues where Death thinks he’s gained the upper hand, cutting Heirophant clean in half. Kakyoin falls as well, as Death 13 explains he’s actually just a head shoulders and arms. Kakyoin has tricked the baby however, as he has a very slippery Stand. He enters Death 13 through it’s ears, which is pretty gruesome, and blackmails the baby into fixing his arm, in the dream world, which will cause it to be fixed in the real world.

In the morning Kakyoin’s zeal is on display as he prepares breakfast for everyone. He has his sleeves rolled up showing off his fixed skin, so he can pretend they just dreamed he was crazy. As the final nail in the baby’s metaphorical coffin, he literally mixes the baby’s own crap into his baby food when no one is looking and get’s Joseph to feed it to him. It’s very gross. But he DID just try and kill them all, so deserved.

They make it across the desert, and are on a boat now. But they aren’t heading straight for Egypt. Who knows what’s going to happen, but I guarantee you won’t want to miss it if the next episode preview is anything to go by.

Elk Challenge Successful

Watch JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

The Irregular At Magic High School (Episode Twenty)
Player: Kayarath
Class: Content Provider

The Irregular At Magic High School

Welcome to Yokohama Disturbance Part III of The Irregular at Magic High School by Aniplex! Preparations for the Thesis Competition are well underway, with Tatsuya and the team constructing a model designed to show their theory in action. However, someone wishes to throw a wrench in their works! Does anyone expect for things to go smoothly at this point? The girl with the rocket bike is back, and she’s armed with a wireless password breaker! Mibu quickly discovers her in act and leads a capture party to, well, capture her. It seems she has a very strong desire to mess Tatsuya up.

Meanwhile, the bad guys are having a meeting. A Mr. Zhou (aren’t I lucky to have a guy with a Z in his name debut in an episode where I need to use all the letters in the alphabet?) and a Mr. Chen talk about the situation. It seems that they were the one who put rocket girl up to it in the first place. Since she didn’t work out, Mr. Zhou decides he’ll just have to handle it by himself. You can never have enough foreshadowing in this show.

We also have Erika and Leo spending some one on one time together “training” together! While some people are jumping to shipping themed conclusions, they’re actually training-training. Erika sees violence and explosions coming up in their futures, and figures Leo needs to learn a finishing move. Knowing how this show turns out, she’s not wrong to believe that. This is yet another episode where everyone is just preparing for the poop to hit the fan. Who will end up very messy when it happens? Find out next week on Yokohama Disturbance Part IV!

Kayarath Challenge Successful

Watch The Irregular at Magic High School on Daisuki or talk about this episode on our forums.

Terror in Resonance (Episode Eight)
Player: Whiskahs
Class: Technomancer


Whiskahs used the power “Hasta La Vista, Baby!” This power is only usable once per season, and, when used, allows the player to miss a week with no penalty, gaining their usual 50 points!

Aero Power Up

Watch Terror in Resonance on Funimation or talk about this episode on our forums.

DRAMAtical Murder (Episode Eight)
Player: Sho
Class: Content Provider


Ew, Aoba’s chest. That’s kinda zany and weird. Actually, the only thing zany is how Aoba can go through and play each dude’s route systematically. Noiz x Aoba shippers will enjoy this episode because this one is about Noiz. After Aoba saved Koujaku, he went to what seemed like a hotel inside the Platinum Jail, and he suddenly runs into Noiz. Or uh, it looks like Noiz runs into Aoba.

When Noiz comes, something seems to happen to Ren, Aoba’s Allmate, and Noiz seems to do something to Ren. It’s clear from the other episodes that Aoba really loves Ren and Noiz picks up how much Aoba cares about Ren. It’s funny that no one really pointed this out before. Noiz tells Aoba that he was deworming Ren, and that he was curious to see if Ren was actually the reason that Aoba was able to defeat him. During this time, Aoba asks Noiz about the strange games that he had been receiving over email. He inspects it and notes that it looks like a game he’d played before (Noiz must have played The Legend of Zelda!). But he couldn’t identify the game because it was filled with junk data and it was a fake sender. Aoba assumes its Toue because it told him about where his Grams was much before he found out what was happening. When Aoba asks Noiz why he was there, he responds by showing Aoba his invitation and noting that he would be able to get in even without it. Oh, and Noiz nearly kisses Aoba again, only to say that he was going to get food.

As they’re out to get food, they’re suddenly attacked. A member of Morphine attacks them and just as he’s about to deal the finishing blow to Noiz, Aoba uses his Scrap ability, making him stop in his tracks just before striking Noiz. They end up on the run and they get separated. When Aoba finally finds Noiz again, Noiz attacks him! It’s evident that Morphine got to him, and Aoba decides that this time, he would be able to save Noiz instead of destroy his mind.

As per usual, Aoba learns about Noiz’s past from entering his mind. Noiz tells him about how he was
abandoned and how he needed to fend for himself, presumably leading him to discovering how to hack and such. After this, Aoba is able to rid Noiz of his demons and take him home.

Knightshade Challenge Failure

Watch DRAMAtical Murder on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Week 008 Tally

  1. Kanashimi: 1785
  2. Bobby Henshin: 1750
  3. Elk: 1570
  4. Kayarath: 1520
  5. Whiskahs: 1480
  6. Sho: 1210
  7. The Editor: 115

Week 007 Token Counts

  1. Kanashimi: 8 Tokens
  2. Bobby Henshin: 8 Token
  3. Elk: 3 Tokens
  4. Kayarath: 5 Token
  5. Whiskahs: 4 Token
  6. Sho: 5 Token
  7. The Editor: 2 Token

Next week’s challenge: All aboard the shipping train! Time to gush over your favorite couple (or make up your own) of your show. You have the choice of just talking about it or drawing fanart to share with the masses (just make it safe for the kiddies).

Make sure to vote for your favorite review below! You can give your favorite a Token!

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