Today’s post comes to us from G1 blogger and fanatic, P-Dude. He comes to us with a one of a kind article that we knew we just had to post! So here it is the six unassuming Pokemon that can kick your ass.



Lots of people are drawn to the bad ass looking Pokémon like Charizard or Tyranitar. But what about those Pokémon who look cute (or just completely retarded)? Well, some may be more powerful than you think! Like they say, never judge a Pokémon by its face. I’ll try to explain the things that need explaining, but if you’re still lost, I’ll include a short summary for you Poké-noobs out there. Enjoy!

6. Wynaut/Wobbuffet

If you are into Pokémon, you know that these guys are Uber and generally BANNED from tourneys. Possibly the most annoying Pokémon to see come out when playing. They play basically the same, just with different stats (Protip: Wynaut evolves into Wobbuffet). It all starts with their ability, “Shadow Tag.” What it does is make your opponent unable to switch their current Pokémon out. So once one of them comes out, you’re stuck with whoever you have out there. Be careful what move you use, because they are GOING to use Encore on you at some point, which makes you repeat the last move you used for 4-8 turns. You also need to be careful since they can return your attack with a Counter and Mirror Coat, doubling its power. When they are about to go down, be prepared for a Tickle, reducing your Attack as well as Defense, or a Safeguard, protecting the next Pokémon they send out. All in all, they’re banned because they’re bitches.

Poké-noob version: If you see these guys RAAAAGGGEEEQUIT!

5. Shuckle

Shuckle is common amongst jerks. I say that because Shuckle is also a jerk. Here’s its stats:

I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking “How is that going to kill me? It has no attack!” Shuckle doesn’t just kill you, it tortures you. Slowly. VERY SLOWLY. That Defense and Speed are going to rape you. Hard.

Shuckle kills you somewhat indirectly. It’ll come out against a physical attacker (obviously) and set up some Stealth Rocks. Stealth Rocks are one of the most common moves in the Pokémon competitive scene, and they take 12.5% HP from a Pokémon who switches in while they are up (before weaknesses). It can also Encore you into insanity, and it’s going to have fun while doing it. Oh, and Shuckle won’t just poison you. It will POISON you. Toxic is a Shuckle favorite, dealing 1/16 of your health on the first turn, 2/16 on the second turn, etc (not reduced for simplicity sake, math nerds) up to 15/16! If you’re not careful, Shuckle will make you throw your DS out the window. Even if you are careful there’s a chance your DS will end up on the lawn. Because once you’re about to kill it, it’s going to Rest his HP back while yours continues to dwindle.

Poké-noob version: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF >:|

4. Smeargle

Smeargle is definitely one of the coolest Pokémon. It has one move: Sketch. Once you use it, it copies the move just used on you into Smeargle’s repertoire permanently. This means that it can have ANY move he so desires (except Chatter, gorram Chatot). The possibilities are endless! That’s what makes it so fun. Since its strategies are limitless, I’ll talk about one in particular I like, and why I like it in general.

With near every move available to it, Smeargle joins the ranks of the awesome Baton Passers (even with mediocre stats). Baton Pass allows you to switch Pokémon and at the same time, pass any stat changes to the Pokémon you switch to. Combine this with the move Belly Drum, which takes 50% HP for a +6 stage boost to Attack (Protip: that’s MAX from 0) and there’s a great opportunity there. Passing Belly Drum to someone like, I don’t know, CHARIZARD is just awesome. Add in a sleep move and Substitute (a move that can, in layman’s terms, absorb hits) and Smeargle is a force to be reckoned with. But that’s just one strategy of many, which is its true strength. Your opponent will have NO IDEA what moves are on your Smeargle. The element of surprise is on your side for sure. Are all strategies useful? No way, but that’s not the point. You could have the aforementioned powers or Flail, Splash, Withdraw, and Harden. No one but you knows!

Poké-noob version: Smeargle is a Wonder Ball.

3. Jumpluff

Jumpluff is probably the cutest on this list, which makes it a big surprise what it can do. Jumpluff actually has some pretty good stats, but there’s one strategy in particular that drew me to it: Kamikaze Jumpluff!

As the name implies, this strategy sacrifices your Jumpluff for the Greater Good. Using Jumpluff as your first Pokémon, you can use its Speed to put the opponent to sleep, and then begin to wreak havoc. While they’re asleep (or switching) it can set up a Reflect, or a Leech Seed, anything really. Then, when you’ve done what you need to do, all you need to do is pull out the gem-of-a-move, Memento. Memento faints the Pokémon that uses it, but lowers the opponent’s Attack and Special attack two entire stages, severely hurting them. Now, they can switch that Pokémon out and then those stat changes are gone, but they just wasted a whole turn switching someone out while you set up a sweeper or anyone, really. Rest easy, Jumpluff, your sacrifice will not be in vain.

Poké-noob version: JUMPLUFF JIHAD!

Probably one of the most forgotten Pokémon out there, Dunsparce is the reason I included the adjective retarded in the opening. I mean, look at it! What the hell is that? Who colored him in, the same blind guy that drew him? Oh well, we’re stuck with him, and luckily, we can put him to good use!

Dunsparce, not unlike Wobbuffet, gets his strength from his ability, Serene Grace, an ability only held by six Pokémon. It doubles the secondary effects of any attack it uses. In other words, if a move (like Body Slam) has a 30% chance to paralyze an enemy, it now has a 60% chance. Thems some pretty good odds! So after a paralyzing Body Slam, it’s time to flinch. I can’t recall how many times I’ve wanted my Pokémon to use a move, only to be bitten and they flinched. WTF MAN. So annoying. Well, Dunsparce is King Flinch. Give it Headbutt, Rock Slide, and Bite and send it on its way. Each have a 30% chance to flinch, doubling to 60%. From Smogon: “If you attack your foe with a flinching move when it is paralyzed, it only has a 30% chance of hitting Dunsparce back.” FRUSTRATION!

Poké-noob version: Kill it before it can do ANYTHING. Or else you won’t be able to do ANYTHING.

1. F.E.A.R. Rattata

When this first surfaced on the interwebs, it blew my mind. More of a gimmick than a legitimate strategy, it’s ridiculous. Since it is pretty common knowledge nowadays, it has many easy counters. But back in the day it was a pretty scary reality. FEAR is an acronym:

Focus Sash

Endeavor

Quick Attack

Rattata (so yes, FEAR Rattata is like ATM Machine, just used that way in the title. Deal.)

First off, this Rattata is level 1, which is really what makes it so scary. Focus Sash is a holdable item that absorbs an attack, leaving the holding Pokémon with 1HP afterwards. Endeavor lowers your opponent’s HP to that of your own. Quick Attack always goes first(except ExtremeSpeed), regardless of Speed stat. If you didn’t figure it out by now, the strategy is in that order. As the first move, you choose Endeavor. They will go first since you’re level 1, and the Focus Sash will leave you with 1HP. You will use Endeavor, bringing their HP to 1 also. Then the next turn you use Quick Attack and go first, and since you HAVE to do at least 1 damage, they’re dead! Voila! Now, like I said, this DOES NOT work against anyone who knows about it, since they could easily switch or use ExtremeSpeed, or a number of other things. Here’s a video of FEAR in action:

Poké-noob version: Rattata can definitely be something to be FEARed

So, that’s my list of the Pokémon that could kick your ass unexpectedly. I’m sure they’re more, but I limited it to six since that’s the team size in Pokémon. Note, however, that these guys as a team wouldn’t work well! You would succeed in pissing everyone in the world off, though. Any thoughts or ideas can be shared in the comments section. I hope you enjoyed it!!

Much info taken from www.smogon.com

Pictures taken from Bulbapedia: http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Main_Page