Simulblast! Week 003 Of Spring 2014

Posted on Apr 29 2014

Simulblast Spring Week 003 2014

Some players begin to rise while others fall flat on their face! See how the mighty have fallen!

This week’s challenge: Since Easter just finished we’re going to focus on chocolate and food (religion is just too messy). This means that you must include a recipe and a picture of your creation with your episode summary. It can be anything from a mix drink (alcoholic or non) to an entire meal. Be creative!

Captain Earth (Episode Three)
Player: Bobby Henshin
Class: DJ

Captain Earth Would you like a walnut? Because episode three is starting and you’ll need some snacks. So Episode three starts off with us seeing the hacker girl from last episode praying at what looks like an abandoned temple. When she opens her eyes she sees the true hero of our story. Pitz! I say that because he attacked Creepy McJerkface in the last episode. She goes into her bag and asks if Pitz would like a walnut. Reason why I opened with would you like a walnut. I think I just want walnuts now, I don’t know.

After the opening we cut over to Globe HQ where we find Daichi…in handcuffs? Turns out they did not take the blowing up of a repressive wave emitter antenna to kindly. The only one who had a problem with this is Creepy McJerkface, who we still haven’t learned the name of yet. He says he got permission from the main HQ to use a new set of Lead gear. Seriously dude, what is your deal? Commander Uncle says this is to clear our past mistakes. So he takes the handcuffs off of Daichi. This doesn’t make McJerkface happy and asks why is he letting him go. Commander Uncle says he is clearing the mistake and already talked to HQ. So use of the lead gear is forbidden. Creepy McJerkface says that Salty Dog will not approve of this. Salty Dog is the company that MCJerkface works for.

Commander Uncle takes his threat and basically gives him a; Well I’m the Captain so tough! McJerkface gives the I don’t like you death glare to the captain, grabs his coffee and heads for the door without taking his eyes off the captain. A very funny scene but I refuse to laugh at anything McJerkface does. In enters Peter Westvillage. I still can not get over that name. Peter comes in with hacker girl to meet her team for the first time. Turns out her name is Akari Yomatsuri and is also the Commander’s daughter. This sends him into a frenzy.

Akari lives with her mother after her and Captain Uncle had a divorce. Also she is a Governor abroad in Tenkaidou. Akari gives her introduction as Magical Girl Akari Yomatsuri. Given the look on Daichi’s face and the response he gave it looks like this is the first time they have ever met. Is it possible to have never met your cousin? The Commander is shocked to find out his own laughter is a hacker. But Akari sees hacker as being a magical girl. SO much so she hacks the lighting for the room via computer and times one light to shine on her as she give a small prayer like speech to God on how the Commander could be so cruel after not seeing his daughter for five years.

Five years? Did the relationship end that badly? Anyway,she continues with the speech of how her parents are always busy with work and abandoned her with nothing but her computer. Turns out we have seen her mom before. She was the one in charge of one of the space stations used to form the Earth Engine. Akari goes on about how she was suppose to have a birthday outing with her father but he canceled to have a date with Rita-san, his assistant. For shame good sir!

As everyone’s earlier opinions of the Commander drop we cut to a grocery store where the Commander is taking Teppei and Hana shopping. They also try yams for the first time. Just a reminder to you guys, these two are basically new to Earth and don’t know many basic things. The Commander apologizes to the two for keeping them locked up for so long. Back at Globe HQ it is decided that Akari is to become part of the team and will be staying at the Commander’s house along with Daichi, Teppei and Hana. At the house we find Akari and Daichi cleaning as we see a picture of Daichi as a little kid with his dad and Uncle. Which we finally learn Commander Uncle’s name! His name is Nishikubo. Turns out Nishikubo and Daichi’s dad were really good friends. So I don’t know if he is really Daichi’s Uncle. Like if you have a really good friend of the family who took care of you when your young you tend to call them uncle.

Nishikubo shows up after Daichi cooks some curry and saying since they are growing boys and girls and are living under the same roof they need so show some restraint. Akari responds with the question; Was the cologne in the bathrooms a gift from Rita-san? Nisikubo gets mad but to break the tension, Hana comes back from taking a shower…but she isn’t done. She comes into the living room naked, blocked only by Akari’s head and says she can not find the switch for the steam bath. This causes Daichi to freak out and Teppei is just…Teppei, he is not phased at all. Daichi’s restraint is completely destroyed as Akari is mad that Hana has her beat in…all the right places.

Night time! We find ourselves in the girls room where Pitz shows up. Hana is surprised Akari knows Pitz as Akari tells her about the temple she was at where she met Pitz. The legend goes that there was a messenger long ago that descended down from the heavens and left behind a giant rock with an angel sealed inside. She asks Pitz who he/she thinks is the stronger heroine, a magical girl or an angel. Meanwhile the boys are just star gazing and talking about the past. Nishikubo is one the phone with Peter saying that Daichi is to no longer be sent on missions in the Earth Engine. Sadly though he doesn’t have a choice because he was out voted.

We are now in the Office of Creepy McJerkface as he picks up his coffee from one of to fancy red chairs that don’t seem to fit in his white cubed, futuristic looking office. He sits down on one of the red chairs and then turns the cup to its side, not spilling any coffee, and starts talking into like a cup phone. I know it! Creepy McJerkface is working for that company that is in charge of Pinky and Sonic-san’s evil doings! Creepy Mcjerkface is helping to take over the world! Now my hatred of this guy has reached new heights.

Back at the evil company building, which is now being called Salty Dog HQ, in the room again with the evil A.I. Puck. Puck tells the evil C.E.O that his secratary is in love with him and asks why he doesn’t make her his. As always he avoids the question and asks if any more Kiltgang made any attacks since last time. This means it’s time for Sonic-san to start his attack. He shows up in a black bird type mech and makes his way to Earth. Daichi on the other hand is made to give a report on how he got the Livlaster. Creepy McJerkface enters the room with two new missions. Keep Hana under bad guy control and deal with Daichi. He shows up giving Daichi a friendly greeting. Makes me wanna punch him even more.

McJeckface tells Daichi that the Kiltgang is attacking again and has something interesting to show him. But back at the control room we find out that Sonic-san’s mech was the same one that killed Daichi’s father nine years ago. Daichi is now ready to launch and is already fired off into space. Nishikubo is pissed because he forbid him from from launching. In enters McJerkface saying that he gave Daichi permission to launch. These two just love pulling the authority card on each other don’t they? Daichi is on a revenge mission know because McJerkface told him about how the mech approaching Earth is the same one that killed his father.

Akari’s mom comes on screen yelling at Nishikubo asking why he launched the Earth Engine when they haven’t finished maintenance on it yet besides putting on new armor. McJerkface responds with a well that’s a problem isn’t it. All part of his plan. God! I hate this guy! Hana and Teppei are in the lounge as Pitz comes and tells her that Daichi is in trouble. She drags Teppei with her. McJerkface suggests they us the impactors to intercept the mech. Part of his plan to destroy the impactors as well. But it looks like they lost the signal to use them. That’s when Akari comes in and hacks the German impactor via computer. This leads Nishikubo to believe his daughter was behind the American Air Force hacking last year. She says asking small questions makes you a small man. He is now afraid of his own daughter.

Hana is now singing to a glowing blue light as she is feeding energy to a machine. Daichi is thrown around like a rag doll. As Sonic-san goes to make the final blow, a light shines in between them. Sonic-san called is a planetary sign. Out of the sign comes a new mech! a Skinny white and black one. Sonic-san recognizes it and calls it Albion with a surprised happy tone. I wonder what this could mean. The new mech Albion summons a rainbow blade and stabs Sonic-san’s mech in the face. With one more strick Albion destroys the enemy mech and sends it’s cube flying. Albion turns to Daichi and makes a small rainbow ring in his hand. Turns out Albion is being piloted by Teppei. Hana says that Albion is a friend and has gone all serious faced on us. We are in a white room with a machine similar to the ones the Kiltgang we’re using. Looks like Teppei and Hana are the same as Pinky and Sonic-san. And that concludes episode three. It was a good episode in my opinion. We got to see the brighter sides of Teppei and Hana, meet Akari the Magical Hacker Girl and hate Creepy McJerkface even more. All around a good episode. See you all in episode four.

Now for the challenge of this weeks Simulblast. I made a little recipe I found online for a healthy version of potato fries. First you cut two potatoes but not all the way. Just enough where they can stand
but can also be pulled off. Drizzle some olive oil and butter on top and sprinkle some sea salt and black pepper. Preheat oven to 420 degrees and cooking for 40 minutes. I used sweet potatoes because that is the only kind of
potatoes we had in the house and they should come out looking like this…

nexas 322

Bobby Challenge Success

Watch Captain Earth on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Chaika ~ The Coffin Princess (Episode Three)
Player: Kanashimi
Class: Boss

Chaika Coffin Princess

Chaika is frickin’ adorable, I just want to emphasize that because it starts out with her selective speech making a pretty lighthearted joke. The trio is traveling on wagon to a new city in hopes to escape any possible pursuers. Akari splits up from her brother and new white-haired boss. The coffin she’s sporting is diverting a lot of attention onto them however, and as such Toru makes the choice to wrap it up. Obviously, the shape remains the same, so it’s not like it does a lot of good. As soon as Toru turns for a moment, Chaika is off and about in the market place… Whoops!

Mentioning the marketplace, I’m hungry. I dunno about you guys, but I can’t really watch anything unless I have food in front of me. So let’s start with my handy-dandy emergency food regiment! This is a recipe you should keep on you at all times.

  1. Go to the kitchen and look for suitable supplies
  2. Attempt to make a sandwich, but realize you have no bread.
  3. Attempt to make a hot dog, but realize you don’t have buns or bread.
  4. Ask for some help from a local establishment.
  5. Wait thirty minutes.
  6. Profit!


Anyway, back to the show… Chaika is looking for cute souvenirs in the market and Toru has to drag her away. The two try and converse on what their next step is as Akari joins them, but there’s a jump cut to Alberic tending to a horse next to his… tank castle. They talk about where the trio could be and Alberic sends Vivi, who seems to be the stereotypical tsundere, to chase after them in the city.

On the otherhand, the trio has realized the ruler of the city they’re visiting is rumored to be one of the “Eight Heroes”. This means they might have another piece of Chaika’s father. The issue is that apparently no one has ever actually seen said ruler. However, they have other things to worry about since Alberic and his crew has caught up with them and they’re scouting the town. As the three are in hiding, a young boy appears behind them and Toru reacts instinctively to slash at him; however, his dagger goes right through him. Chaika reveals that this is the informant that has been directing her prior to meeting Toru and Akari. This informant, Guy, states he is not a supporter of the Gaz Empire, but merely wants to lead Chaika to the remains she seeks.

He instructs them to enter the forest and there they will find abandoned vehicles from a war. In addition, he lets them know that the hero they seek isn’t far from there and her name is Dominica Scoda. After he promptly vanishes they move on their way to find a vehicle. Apparently in this world they’re powered by magic which means Chaika has to drive. I dunno why I find that funny that the loli midget has to be the one to control a wagon tank, but hey, whatever.

As they drive off to their destination, Toru finds out from Chaika that she has a very vague memory of what actually happened. They’re interrupted by a pack of wild dog like monsters chasing after them. They seem to inhabit the forest, and Toru jumps out of the wagon to face them. He’s down for the count with a single electric current until… a woman in armor appears. If I was to guess this is Dominica.

To be continued! … Aw, man, I need to order more honey BBQ wings…

Kana Challenge Successful

Watch Chaika ~ The Coffin Princess on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

The Irregular At Magic High School (Episode Three)
Player: Kayarath
Class: Content Provider

The Irregular At Magic High School The Irregular at Magic High School is one those shows that start with an opening “movie” rather then an opening episode. We’re in part three of Enrollment and there’s gonna be at least a forth. After the forth of a second fight at end of the last episode, everyone was wondering how that curb stomp happened. Several minutes are spent in techno babble explaining the processes and tactics used. To sum up the important parts, Tatsuya has abilities that weren’t reflected in testing, has rare magic items, and has ninja powers. In short, he’s basically Batman. Okay, he’s not really Batman. Batman doesn’t duel wield but Tatsuya does. Either way, Mari Watanabe wants Tatsuya (as a committee member) and recruits him using by asking really, really nicely.

Then we do the incest scene. Are they trying to creep everyone out with it? Miyuki (who is Tatsuya’s sister) stripes down to her underwear, rubs her breasts against his back, and then knocks him out for hanging out with other women instead of lusting after her. I wish I was joking but I’m not! The actual purpose of the scene was Miyuki asking Tatsuya to “realign” her “magic powers.” Let’s not explore that further.

Why don’t I change the subject and tell you about my challenge recipe? Long ago, I heard that a burger peanut butter and bacon is quite delicious. Serious, I did. Get a burger, and some peanut butter and beacon, and you’re good to go! I must have messed up the recipe though. I think you need clunky peanut butter and a beef patty instead of turkey. Not sure if it actually works though. This is taking a turn for the worst.

Burger time

When in doubt, go to the old stand by crowd pleaser topic, violence! Tatsuya, being a part of the disciplinary committee, has to lay down the law. His first job is club recruitment week, a hotbed of fights and hijinks. Things get hectic quick when Tatsuya fights a whole kendo club by himself. I guess they’re trying to make up for lost time fight wise. Tatsuya, being a Batman analog, has little trouble knocking out mooks left and right. Breaking the one guy beats up a group trope, someone else actually tries to help him but is stopped by a captain of some type. If Bleach has taught me anything, captains are important and we’ll see exactly why in the next episode. See you then!

Kayarath Challenge Successful

Watch The Irregular at Magic High School on Daisuki or talk about this episode on our forums.

No Game No Life (Episode Three)
Player: Whiskahs
Class: Technomancer

No Game No Life

Episode 3 beings with Sora, Shiro, and Steph interrupting the coronation ceremony to issue a challenge to the title claimant, Clammy. We’re treated to some interesting music and several game references (notably Ace Attorney) as the scene unfolds. Sora ends up revealing that he knows that Clammy has allied herself with the Elves in order win the tournament and take the crown, which Clammy denies even after the brother-sister duo reveal her accomplice in the crowd.

This episode continues the trend of a sort of meta game being played before every actual game, which Sora has to explain to Steph after the challenge is issued and the group is preparing to travel to the site at which the game will be played. The main point of this particular meta game is that other countries intervening in the tournament was pretty much guaranteed and that Sora and Shiro should act as if they are supported by another government in order to keep the contest with Clammy honest. Sora explains that if Clammy doesn’t know which nation is supporting them, she might be better off to select a game and location where magic can simply not be used. If that were to happen Sora believes that there is no chance that he and Shiro could lose.

After the explanations the group travels to site of their game, a church-like building, with Clammy in a carriage. Clammy attempts to convince the group to drop the challenge by explaining that she aligned herself with the Elves in order to secure a place for humans under their protection. She goes on to explain that humanity is incapable of defending themselves against the other races and just need to accept their position at the bottom. Steph seems to agree with the sentiment somewhat, but Shiro seems to take offense to the idea and refuses t drop the challenge.

The game they end up playing turns out to be chess. Or at least that’s what Sora and Shiro think it is when they start. The game is large board with human sized chess pieces that respond to commands issued by the players, but as the game progresses they discover that the pieces can do more or less than what the basic rules of chess allow based off the charisma of the player. Clammy uses this guise to cheat by having her Elven ally use her magic from a distant site while Sora and Shiro have to rely on manipulating the game in non-magical ways.

After a bit of fan service and several more game references the episode ends with Sora and Shiro on the ropes, but they seem to have a plan to get back in the game.


Tokyo Sidecar (Remy VSOP cognac, Grand Marnier, sugar, lemon juice, orange wheel)

Had one of these last night at the Yoshiki Classical World Tour. Check out my write up on it in the coming days!


Aero Challenge Successful

Watch No Game, No Life on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders (Episode Three)
Player: Elk
Class: DJ

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Stardust Crusaders

It’s time for episode 3 of Stardust Crusaders! Is Elk going to only going to review odd numbered episodes? That would probably be a bad idea.

First off since I missed episode 2 and episode 1 didn’t have the OP we HAVE to start with the…

OP Break! THIS is a rockin’ song, and totally appropriate for JoJo. STAND PROUD. The visuals of this season’s OP are still mainly in 3D and they look great. It’s refreshing to have such a classic OP sound in a new anime. I don’t know if I’d be able to stand a moe poppy song as the intro to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.

So now we’re into the episode and we can kind of see what we missed in episode 2. Kakyoin lost to Jotaro, and he’s now unconscious at the Joestar residence. He has a mind control device in his brain that can’t be extracted forcing him to be loyal to Dio. Dio is a pretty awesome character, but he’s still evil to the core, and these mind control devices exemplify that. Although, despite that depth of pure badness, I’d take him over the vampires of Twilight any day. There is no greater evil than Twilight.

It’s because of that brain bud we learn Avdol also met Dio and was barely able to escape him. But even though the bud cannot be removed even by the most expert of brain surgeons, Jotaro believes he can, with the precision and speed of his Stand. We get an extremely tense encounter where the tentacle of the brain bud digs under Jotaro’s skin and nearly makes it to his own brain before he can fully extract it, and Joseph can destroy it with his overdrive.

Afterwards, Jotaro’s mother and Joseph’s daughter Holly shows up, and is such a weeaboo that she demands to be called Seiko (because Seinaru is the Japanese word for Holy, the name’s base). This distresses Joseph since he named her Holly.

In the morning Joeseph is whining about not finding his pants and pretty much acting like a 5 year old. Avdol finds Holly passed out in front of the fridge while feeling a menacing mood. He finds that Holly also has a Stand. It becomes apparent that without the proper mental and physical strength, a person with a Stand can’t control it, and it will end up killing them. Suddenly, the task of killing Dio has became much more important to Jotaro. Only by killing Dio will the curse of the Stand be lifted.

Using Jotaro’s Stand’s precision, he get’s it to sketch out a miniscule detail from one of Joseph’s photos of Dio to determine where he is. He’s able to see a fly, just barely. Avdol recognizes the type of fly and heads to the library to look through encyclopedias. It seems Dio is still in Egypt, so along with Kakyoin, who wants to join them for saving his life and restoring his senses, they head off, while the Speedwagon Foundation’s doctors care for Holly.

However before they enter the car, Avdol finally names JoJo’s Stand: Star Platinum! The names of all the other Stand’s are also given. All the names are {Tarot card} {Colour}. Hermit Purple, Magician’s Red, Heirophant Green.

And with that, I shall name my “recipe” Stardust Orange.

What you need: 1 orange, 1 packet of sugar/sweetener. I chose truvia, a stevia sweetener.


First, you cut the peel off the orange.

Cut Orange

Second, you “dust” the orange with the sugar/sweetener.

Stardust Orange!

There you have it, a Stardust Orange. Finally, enjoy your juicy, messy, sweet treat. If you’re as bad as I am with a knife, be careful, I nearly gave myself a nice cut, and if you over cut the peel, be sure not to waste the orange that’s left over. Eat that extra bit off the peel too!

ED Break! And how apt. The song is the classic Walk Like an Egyptian. It took me a second to recognize WHICH song it was, even though I immediately knew I heard it before. JoJo is good at having awesome classic music for it’s ED songs. Which is super appropriate considering how music inspired JoJo is.

Next episode, trouble on the airplane? Dio knows they’re coming, and somehow has the same camera power that Joseph has.

Elk Challenge Successful

Watch JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Daimidaler (Episode Three)
Player: Knightshade
Class: DJ


What’s going on, everyone? I’m here and I’m still watching this show. I mean each episode is weirder than the last. Well, I say we get started, let’s take a look at Kenzen Robo Daimidaler episode 3.

So we start off this episode with the penguin leader chewing out his men for losing the coat hanger robot. Yeah we’re calling it the coat hanger robot now! When a mysterious comes in and hugs the big cheese penguin because I guess she loves men in penguin costumes. Anyway we cut to fan service and well we cut to our next scene… yeah nothing really happened so we cut back to the penguin empire. The mystery girl asks to be a part of the empire so she’s put to a test to beat the penguin commandos and she wins, but she takes it too far and beats up the emperor and she fails and is expelled… or is she?! No, no she’s not. The emperor comes into the bath house and is blinded by an unknown light, what he sees is that the… tail penis things polished to “perfection” and the emperor let’s back in as family. I say this is touching but the innuendos are so many, it’s just hard to take this in any sort of seriousness. Well the mystery girl is revealed as Rikantz Seaberry and is called Ritz by her penguin brethren.


Well the penguin robot appears and Ritz I think tells the people their plan by being perverted? I don’t know but the coat hanger robot comes and the robots fight. Things look bad for the coat hanger bot but they get lucky as Ritz has motion sickness and get dizzy doing one of her attacks. So while the coat hanger bot gets repaired, Kouichi gets trained by Kazuo Matayoshi for 10 days after the 10 days is up Kouichi emerges and is a full on pilot but when Kyouko tries to touch him he weird. The alarm goes off and the robot launches. We cut to the surface and everything is covered in panties. I-I can’t even. Well the fight seems to be going well for the coat hanger bot as everything seems normal for the robot itself and Kouichi doesn’t need to “charge up” the particles and Kyouko feels down, yeah sure ok. The coat hanger bot gets backed into a corner and Kyouko need to show her boobs to get Kouichi powered up. I swear to god this is true! The penguin bot loses but things seem pretty good for empire despite the set back.

Today I have for you a “Super Oreo that bites back” I know it doesn’t look that super but this took 13 Oreo’s to build and while I wish it turned out better I think it gets it’s point across. It’s also got a coat of chocolate syrup on it for good measure but where does the “bite back” come from? Well… it’s also coated in vodka so you’ll feel a slight hit in the mouth when you eat this.

And again I say this is weird, stupid and it seems like it’s trying to create drama when it doesn’t need drama. I’m giving it 6 perverted men out of 10. See ya’ll next week!

Knightshade Challenge Successful

Watch Daimidaler on Funimation or talk about this episode on our forums.

Black Bullet (Episode Three)
Player: Midnight
Class: DJ

Black Bullet

This player did not turn in their episode summary for the week. As such, they will not be awarded 50 flat points or the additional 30 for doing a challenge. Midnight is considered a no-show and as such has lost a dollar of his original bid. She has four more chances before he will be kicked out of the competition.

Midnight No Show

Watch Black Bullet on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Week 003 Tally

  1. Bobby Henshin: 300
  2. Kanashimi: 300
  3. Kayarath: 300
  4. Whiskahs: 230
  5. Elk: 220
  6. Knightshade: 210
  7. Midnight: 180

Next week’s challenge: Time to throw on your dub appreciation shoes! Anyone that talks in the next episode needs an English actor, who will you decide fits best?

Make sure to vote for your favorite review below! You can give your favorite an extra 20 points.

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  • nerdwerld April 30, 2014 at 3:14 PM

    I want to vote for Kana for the wings, but Stardust Orange is too funny. So I will vote for Elk.

  • Kayarath April 30, 2014 at 8:52 PM

    I read Knightshade’s summary and I have no idea what’s happening even though I bet he described it perfectly….

  • Bobby Henshin April 30, 2014 at 10:23 PM

    idk i think buying wings is kinda cheating lol

  • Siege May 5, 2014 at 3:20 PM

    Whiskahs gets my vote

  • Chelseam2 May 6, 2014 at 11:34 AM

    After long deliberation, I’mma have to say Bobby gets my vote. I was cracking up at the nickname thing he had going there. Boss almost had me, especially with the recipe thing. XD (Still chuckling)
    Also, the stardust orange was impressive for some reason. I feel like I would fail at the attempt. *.*
    But I really, really like potatoes. <_<

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