I can’t lie: this is the second boring episode in a row. It started out promising (Megumi? Yuuki? Anger? Dismemberment? Jerky film reel art style?), but then it didn’t deliver. Well guess what, Shiki? If you won’t do it for me, I’m forced to entertain myself.

Dear Diary,

Like, OMG! OK. Today I, like, totally went to see that major hottie Yuuki and I was all ready to, like, hang around outside his bedroom window and spy on him (like, HELLO, that’s what you do when you LOVE someone, haven’t you read Twilight?!) but as I was walking up to his window, I totally looked down to check out my, like, super adorable shoes (so cute! I know!) and I noticed that he’d torn up that super romantic postcard I gave him and I, like, cried sparkly demon tears all over the ground. He’s such a jerk! I hate him so much! But I love him. But I hate him. But mostly I love him.

But I’ll still probably totally eat him. You know, romantically!

-Megumi

Dear Diary,

So I noticed that girl that I DON’T LIKE stopped by because those pieces of her postcard that I ripped up were disturbed and even though I apparently memorized all the pieces and where they were and how many there were, that doesn’t mean I like her because I DON’T.

I’m trying to learn as much as possible about this girl who I DEFINITELY DON’T LIKE, so I rented a bunch of vampire movies (on VHS – they don’t even have DVDs in this hick town!) and tried to check some vampire books out of the library. That stupid monk had all the vampire books, though. I had to go to his house to try to find them and I got cornered by his parents. That makes me feel so angsty. Later I made a cross to protect myself if his creepy dad comes after me.

After my nap, during which I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT dream about that girl who I don’t even like, I was wandering down the road and I ran into that hack doctor. What a weirdo. I ran off before he could do any voodoo on me. We definitely did not talk about Me…uh…that girl. The one I don’t like.

-Yuuki

Dear Diary,

Today my stupid nephew Hiromi died. Good riddance. Except at the same time, I was dying and later I died and no one noticed. If I wasn’t already dead, I would kill myself. Ugh. I hate everyone.

-Masao

Dear Diary,

Today I met with the doctor to tell him about my new discoveries in this awesome case…I mean, really sad state of affairs, with everyone dying and all. I’m totally not going to write a book about this. He wasn’t interested in listening to me. He’d rather just throw a big baby tantrum and act like a big baby throwing a tantrum. Dude needs to chill out.

Later that little girl followed me to my super-secret hideout again. Ugh, I hate it when she does that. How am I ever going to get a girlfriend if that toddler keeps showing up everywhere? I might have been crying when she walked in. Don’t judge.

-Mighty Monk

Dear Diary,

I know Kanemasa is involved in all these deaths! There’s something wrong with that place! It’s definitely related to everybody dying! I have ugly hair and gross teeth!

-Ikumi

Dear Diary,

Today I quit my job. TOO SCARY. I’ll probably die soon, right? AHHHHHH SCARY!!!

-Fujiyo

Dear Diary,

I’m having a really hard time with my feelings this week. First I flipped out at this lady who brought her dying husband into the clinic. OK, that was out of line, but what did she expect? If she didn’t want to get yelled at she shouldn’t have been such a moron. Also my Daddy issues are back. Even though it’s perfectly reasonable for a doctor to be frustrated by a rash of deaths among his patients, I feel the need to be haunted by my dead father who was also a doctor and believes dying patients is a personal failure. Get off my back, Dad!

Later I gave another patient a full blood transfusion and she seemed to be getting better. But then she wouldn’t come back to the clinic when I told her to! Why are all my patients so stupid?! Dad is still hanging around, judging me. I suck.

That purple-haired kid showed up asking a bunch of stupid questions about that girl Megumi, who he totally likes, and whether I was sure if she was dead. Was I sure? WAS I SURE? You don’t get to be an awesome doctor like me by making idiot mistakes like that. The only way she could possibly be dead is if she’s some kind of vampire.

Wait. Vampire. Vampire? Vampire. VAMPIRE. I AM A GENIUS!!!!

-Doctor O

Dear Diary,

I am totally gonna eat those kids. Yummy.

-Ugly Cat Hair Vampire Guy

There’s something about writing in a diary that’s soothing to the soul. Especially if you can inhabit 8 souls…that’s 8 times the soothing!

Jokes aside, I have high hopes for episode 7. The plot is all set up, now things just need to start unfolding. And they are definitely going to unfold. Probably. I mean, I’m pretty sure. It’s time, right? We shouldn’t have to wait any more, right? You think so too, right? Shiki wouldn’t do that to us…right?

Also, is anyone else really tired of the “Three _____,” “Four _____,” etc., episode titles? Because I sure am. What would you title Shiki’s episodes, if you could?

Next week I’m on vacation – so be nice to the sub! (Or don’t, what do I care? I’ll be on vacation!)