Introducing Simulblast!

Posted on Oct 08 2013

Introducing Simulblast

Are you sure you’re ready for the fall anime season? Ready enough to put your money on the line and be judged by countless people? We are! It’s time to open the floodgates for the fun that is Simulblast!

So you’re probably asking, “Simulblast…? Is that like a bomb or a new flavor of Pop Rocks?” Heck no! It’s an entertaining way to keep up to date on this season’s batch of shows. Here’s the deal, ten staff members have thrown their personal stash of cash into the ring in an attempt to leave with a bigger cut and write about anime along the way. Each player has been given a randomly drawn anime to watch within a certain time limit of a week. In that week they have to write their impressions of the episode they watched. Doesn’t sound hard, does it? But what’s a game without some curve-balls?

Sure, the player could write about the episode and be done, but if they want extra points they gotta complete weekly challenges. Every time they complete summary, they get a flat 50 points. Plain and simple. Complete a challenge, however wacky it is, and get an additional 20 points.

Wait, but how are the viewers involved? “It’s not fun if you can’t play,” you say! Don’t worry, we already thought about that one. Every week, you’ll be able to comment on the episode summary you liked the best. Your vote counts for an additional 30 points.

“Yeah,” you begin, “but if someone gets too far ahead, then what?” The players will just have to fight each other, won’t they? They’re able to spend points on powers to trip up their competition. Each player has a specific class and from their class they get specific powers. Now you’re thinking like an RPG maker!

Without further ado, let’s introduce this season’s players:

Simulblast Couldn't Be A Hero

Player: Bobby Henshin
Class: DJ
Anime: I Couldn’t Become A Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided To Get A Job

Here he comes
Here comes Bobby
He’s a demon on-line
He’s a demon and he’s gonna be derpin’ over someone.

He’s lamin’ on you so you better look away.
He’s busy revvin’ up a powerful “I’m late!”

And when the odds are against him
And there’s dangerous work to do
You bet your life Bobby
Will trip on his shoe

Go Bobby
Go Bobby
Go Bobby, Go!

Simulblast Galilei Donna

Player: Christmas
Class: Guest Relations
Anime: Galilei Donna

Christmas is actually the best at watching anime and telling you how much he likes it, he just has a hard time focusing on actually getting anything productive done.

Simulblast Gundam Build Fighters

Player: Elk
Class: DJ
Anime: Gundam Build Fighters

Elk is actually a Polar Bear pretending to be an Elk pretending to be a Canadian. Worshiped by Beavers and friend to Penguins everywhere. He uses his powers for DJing, making iStalk, making banners, as well as pretty much anything else that needs done. Exactly what those powers are are a secret.

Simulblast Meganebu

Player: Kanashimi
Class: Boss
Anime: Meganebu!

Being the final boss of a molten-pitted dungeon isn’t really the best experience. Constant sun tan, nosy lava, uninvited guests trying to slay you… So sometimes, you just want a change of pace and that change is an anime-themed radio station, am I right?! Kanashimi left her day job of being a full-time final boss of the latest hit RPG and instead settled for being the only boss for a radio station. It all worked out in the end until she got too busy to watch anime. With Simulblast she’ll solve all of her problems and prove why she’s the boss!

Simulblast Outbreak Company

Player: Kayarath
Class: Content Provider
Anime: Outbreak Company

Kayarath is from the land of Fail where they worship Kroze. Obviously, this whole worship Kroze thing backfired and the island was destroyed in the flame of failure. Kayarath, as the only survivor, was taken in by 91.8 The Fan. From there, to prove the might of the ever powerful Kroze, he must fight his way through Simulblast! Will the other staff ever stop mocking him and his love for Kroze (and terrible music such as Every Fight)? Probably not, but Kayarath will troll onward!

Simulblast Kill La Kill

Player: Knightshade
Class: DJ
Anime: Kill La Kill

Knightshade was found cowering under a bridge in a swamp, mumbling about how the world is “Too bright” and how he’s a “knight of the shade.” He seemed like the perfect amount of insane to participate in our contest, so we forcibly removed him from the safety, comfort, and shade of his bridge into the harsh sunlight to watch some anime with the rest of us. We’re not quite sure if he knows how to read and write, but we’re willing to take a chance!

Simulblast Nagi No Asukara

Player: MakiMaki
Class: Content Provider
Anime: Nagi No Asukara

MakiMaki is actually a mad scientist who enjoys drinking Dr. Pepper while tinkering with his computers as he seeks a way to take over the world! Three out of the four statements made in the previous sentence might be true. You thought I would say two out of four, didn’t you? MWUUHAHAHAHAHH! Oh look! A Shiny! They’re watching all of us you know…

Simulblast Diabolik Lovers

Player: Midnight
Class: DJ
Anime: Diabolik Lovers

Midnight is actually a 800 year old dragon transformed into a human with the power of a magical necklace. Now she hangs out with a bunch of vampires and werewolves. She likes to DJ from time to time, and now she’s here to review your shows for you. Just don’t take off the necklace and everything should be fine.

Simulblast Log Horizon

Player: Siege
Class: Content Provider
Anime: Log Horizon

Siege appeared long ago, in the ancient time of 2011, as a no-nonsense cop DJ who didn’t play completely played by the rules. Now, in the distant future of 2013, having betrayed his fellow DJs to work in content provision, Siege rises to the challenge of Simulblast, ready to take on all competitors, leaving blazes of destruction in his wake as he claims his prize.

He also likes short walks on the beach.

Simulblast Beyond The Boundary

Player: Zero Gravity
Class: DJ
Anime: Beyond The Boundary

Zero watches anime… A LOT of anime! But he’ll prove his stuff when he watches and reviews the anime of the season, and give you a good in-depth idea as to whether or not you should watch it! So sit back, grab your popcorn and sit a good distance from the TV, in a brightly lit room and ROLL IT!

Your first challenge for episode one of your respective anime is this: Incorporate your player profile into your episode review in some way.

Have any questions on how the game works? Comment below!

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  • nerdwerld October 8, 2013 at 8:23 PM

    I think Maki has watched too much Steins;Gate. But, Siege’s introduction is the best.

  • Kayarath October 8, 2013 at 9:23 PM

    I will crush you all like a thing that’s good at crushing crushes a thing that is very easily crushed!

    • Kanashimi October 8, 2013 at 9:30 PM

      Too late, for I have already crushed you with a crushingly good crush of the mightiest crushes!

  • MakiMaki October 9, 2013 at 12:49 AM


    I think Maki has watched too much Steins;Gate

    If I ever call or refer to Christmas as Kuristina, you can start to worry.

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