Players are moving every which way! Is your favorite on top?

This week’s challenge: For anyone that talks in the next episode, list an English actor to play them.

Chaika ~ The Coffin Princess (Episode Four)
Player: Kanashimi
Class: Boss

We last left Toru getting saved by the dragoon lady, which is rather convenient all things considered. Since this is the dub challenge and I’m not really held back by location or company (unlike the real world), I think I’ll be mixing and matching actors abound. There are a few good choices for Toru who are both young yet tough. Perhaps Justin Cook or even Jason Liebrecht. As for Dominica Scoda the dragoon lady, she already appears like a good mixture of soft and strong, so I’ll throw this one to Danielle McRae.

Akari is a difficult choice for me since she’s pretty calm and collected. Most of the actors I’m aware of are incredibly rambunctious, haha. I’d like to see Ali Hillis in more anime, so why not? As for Chaika, the uber-moe-yet-somewhat-stoic loli, I’d say we can just hand it to Michelle Ruff and be done. Either way, they’re lead to Dominica’s mansion where she inquires what Toru and Akari’s relation is. She goes into this really random spiel about how they’re siblings, but they obvious love one another so much that their family would be against it… so they came up with a suicide pact, and that’s the reason we’re in the forest. Dominica is surprisingly alright with all of this and lets them know they should stay until they know they’ll be safe. That’s one way to make a first impression, Akari…

We learn, however, that Toru and Akari aren’t blood-related, which is a nice side bonus in terms of interesting facts. The trio explores the mansion to find several statues and paintings of Dominica. Eventually they discover a small grey cat and play with it as they discuss what to do next. There’s a bath scene between Chaika and Akari while the cat is like “lolbye, I’m not here for fanservice.”

Akari cooks food for everyone after, and, as they eat, Toru essentially asks Dominica for the remains outright. Welp, that’s a curious plan if there ever was one. She agrees that, if she can be defeated in battle by Toru, she’ll give up the remains, which just makes everything a bit easier, I guess. However, there’s something they’ve discovered in a flashback: that Dominica didn’t recognize Chaika. In addition, the white-haired girl’s magic also detects something large in the mansion, despite the fact they searched it. Is Dominica really who she says she is?

To change their plans Toru begins to destroy the statues that represent Dominica, and she responds rather brashly. Toru begins to ask where the real Dominica is, and slowly but surely we learn that this might indeed be the dragoon that was possibly abandoned by Dominica. Once Chaika is able to shoot her down, she reveals her true, massive form. Gonna be honest, guys, I’m pretty sure the fake form was easier to fight. Interestingly enough, a dagger strike from Akari earlier in the fight happened to have a bit of poison in it, so our dragon friend is having a hard time moving. With another spell from Chaika, she’s able to rip the dragon’s wings off, and Toru is able to stab it in the forehead.

The fake Dominica explains that her master died of illness after the war, and she, the dragon, was no longer needed. In an effort to not forget her, she built statues of her mage around the mansion. In an odd turn of events, the impostor transforms into an additional loli, which I would wager is her true form? She introduces herself as Fredrica and claims she wishes to kill Toru as her lifelong goal now. She reaches out and bites Toru, healing his wounds instantly… fast-forward to them traveling to their next destination, and we discover that Fredrica is the cat.

Watch Chaika ~ The Coffin Princess on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Captain Earth (Episode Four)
Player: Bobby Henshin
Class: DJ

Welcome to episode four of Captain Earth! Or as I like to call it, the episode where we learn people’s names. The episode starts out with Akari and Daichi enjoying some watermelon on the porch while Pitz rolls around in a ball because he is worried about Hana. Hana and Teppei are at Globe HQ getting tests done to determine how they piloted the same machine as a Kiltgang. They got the system from a company they took over that was helping the enemy 9 years ago. So basically Teppei is one of the Kiltgang but has no memory of this. Akari tries to cheer up a mopping Daichi by showing him her magical belly button! I’m serious, she shows him her belly button to make him feel better. Akari decides to take Daichi to the base to go see Hana and Teppei.

On the way they stop at a store where there is a ice cream and crepe truck selling to the people. They ordered crepes, but something is not right about the people running the truck. Oh my god! Pinky is making crepes in the truck! Yes, Pinky, the first opponent Daichi fought back in episode 2. Sonic-san is also driving the truck. So wait a second, if Pinky and Sonic-san’s goal is to reach Earth… why are they on… Earth? OK! I am seriously confused now. Turns out that the Kiltgangs are on Earth, but they are trying to get their robots to Earth. They pilot them remotely from Earth. Akari tries offering some crepe to Pitz but he sees through their ruse and swats the piece of crepe away. Pitz is the true hero of this story! This scene has proved it.

We reach Globe HQ where Daichi has a moment with Teppei and cheers him up by saying that, even if he is one of the enemy, he belongs here on Earth with them. Handing him the Blue Star, Teppei puts a smile on his face. That’s when the room decided to explode. Sonic-san and Pinky have infiltrated Globe HQ. Their mission is to take Teppei back with them. Turns out Teppei has two different names, Alvion and Ayala. I think Kiltgangs have their real names and a name for when they are in their robots. So Ayala is Teppei’s real name, and Alvion is his name in the robot.

Fact time! Kiltgangs don’t actually pilot their robots. They become their robots through a mind link and go into a coma like state. We also finally learn about our villain’s main goal. Once their robots make it to Earth they will be able to harvest the humans and feed on…their limbido. Whoa! Okay at least
buy me dinner first. They see humans as nothing more than a food source, hence why they say I would not like to waste food when pointing a gun at people. Now, you’re probably wondering why there were no security measures in the Globe HQ. Pinky used a rabbit-like computer virus to shut down all security systems. That was until Akari got her hacking skills into the mix. The security system kicks back on, which is just a camera in the corner of the room… that fires a laser! But I am getting ahead of myself.

Before the laser, we finally learned Sonic-san and Pinky’s true names! Amarok and Malkin, respectively. I don’t know, though; I kinda liked calling them Pinky and Sonic-san. What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments. Speaking of, it’s challenge time! I would like to see Amarok played by Takahisa Maeyama. Kamen Rider fans would know him as Gremlin from Kamen Rider Wizard. There isn’t much for me to say about his career, seeing as Kamen Rider Wizard was his first main T.V. role. He was also only a part of a total of 4 stage plays and a few variety shows. But if you saw him on Wizard you would be able to see the kinda playful and serious tone that he takes that would fit Amarok. The challenge calls for an English actor, though, so I think Yuri Lowenthal would actually be a great fit; he has the right face and voice for him. Malkin, though, is hard. I would like to compare her to someone who would be good to play a live action Harley Quinn, but she hasn’t been made live action yet, so I really don’t have a actress to pick for her.

Moving on, though, we have the two being shot at as they make a run for their crepe truck, which has a large trailer. Inside said trailer is a robot. To compare, think of it like a Nightmare frame from Code Geass. Nothing is even scratching this thing as it destroys everything in its path. Now I know why they say Earth is doomed if their robots get here; they would be unstoppable. Amarok tries to make a deal with Teppei, saying that if he comes with them that they will not hurt anyone else. Teppei agrees, but is halted by Daichi. Daichi, still dripping blood from the first explosion, says that Teppei isn’t going anywhere and belongs on Earth with them. A shining blue light force starts converging on Daichi’s hand, and the LivLaster appears. He fires at the robot and takes out the mech’s right arm. Looks like the LivLaster is the only thing that can hurt the Kiltgangs. Ordering a retreat, Malkin’s real name is revealed as Moko. See? We are learning a lot of names this episode. Malkin sees this as Teppei betraying them. Amarok knows this not to be true because he believes that eating a human’s limbido is addictive and can never be betrayed. And that is where we end it. Next episode we will meet the person who gave Teppei his powers as they are being taken away by space spies! Hope to see you then!

Watch Captain Earth on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

The Irregular At Magic High School (Episode Four)
Player: Kayarath
Class: Content Provider

The Irregular at Magic High School is one those shows that start with an opening “movie” rather then an opening episode. We’re in part four of Enrollment, and there’s gonna be at least a fifth. Wait, did I just repeat my beginning from last time? Well, like in the last episode, it begins with exposition of the battle that happened in the episode before it. Tatsuya and Miyuki are hanging out in a cafe with their friends talking about stuff that happened while sitting a little too close to each other.

Exposition and incest is not a combination I want to see in my anime. I guess I’ll have to put up with it until the world is sufficiency developed, and then we can get to all the cool magic fights. Here we learn that Tatsuya has a reputation as a mysterious butt kicker. Taking out a whole kendo team single handily will result in things like that. Then a real shocker happens when Tatsuya reveals he developed an anti-magic technique. This is on par with saying you developed a new technology, with which you can change the world and reap a heavy profit while doing so. Tatsuya prefers to sit on his discovery for now to avoid the societal calamity it would cause. I’m surprised that such a secretive person like Tatsuya would even say something so monumental. He must really trust his friends to reveal such a big secret to them like that.

After that, it’s date time with Mibu! Okay, not really. Mibu runs another kendo club (the one Tatsuya didn’t beat up single-handily) and wants to recruit him to her cause. All the non-magical students are forming up to ROW! ROW! FIGHT THE POWER! that is the magical emphasis of the school. He doesn’t say yes, but he doesn’t say no either. Being anime, of course, this gets confused for a romantic encounter. Enough so that Miyuki’s ice powers go off in response.

Soon enough, the power siblings are back home, where’s it time for explanation and more brother-sister bonding. Here Tatsuya gives the lowdown on an anti-magic terrorist organization. The fact that this information is supposed to be classified only makes me compare him to Batman even more. What’s next, is he rich? Turns out he is from a rich family and defected from it order to live a peaceful life with his sister. Close enough, I guess. We also learn that these anti-magic terrorists have infiltrated his very school! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a plot! More cool magic fights are gonna happen sooner or later; I can feel it! Hopefully, before everyone gets driven away by the incest and exposition. Do you have the magic skills to tough it out? Only one way to find out! See you next episode!

Watch The Irregular at Magic High School on Daisuki or talk about this episode on our forums.

No Game No Life (Episode Four)
Player: Whiskahs
Class: Technomancer

This episode picks up where the last left off: with the chess game between Blank and Clammy. Sora focuses his efforts on convincing the enemy’s queen piece into turning against her king through an impassioned speech about tyranny and love. The queen eventually succumbs to Sora’s passion and reasoning, but, in doing so, forms a third side to the chess game and converts several other pieces from the black team into a new red team. In the end, through some plot magic, this causes the black king to simply fall apart as Sora describes how most tyrants in Earth’s history died due to assassination.

Following her loss, Clammy breaks down in front of the others, unable to bear that she has lost while being thoroughly convinced that, through losing, she has failed humanity. Sora ends up revealing that he was not in fact aligned with any other nation and that no magic was involved in Blank’s win against her. Clammy doesn’t believe him at first, while Steph is completely enthralled with the idea that humans can actually win games against the other races that have marginalized them for so long.

Blank and Steph make their way back to the capital where Blank tries to jointly accept the crown, but there is some confusion about whether two people can rule together in this world, as it hasn’t happened before. After a solid day of playing games to try and defeat one another, Sora looks at the rules again and notices that they don’t explicitly call for a single person to lead. After coming to this realization, the two of them are jointly crowned king and queen.

Following the coronation, Sora addresses the people of his nation, nervously at first because of his fear of crowds, but ends up once again drawing a passionate speech out of thin air. The speech is mostly about how weak humanity is in comparison to the other races, but how humanity should accept it and use it to their advantage. In the end, he openly calls for war against the other races and states that he’ll take back the original borders of the kingdom, which were lost by the previous king. The crowd applauds their new monarchs, and Steph simply balks.

When the three are back inside, Steph attempts to explain to Sora how insane he is for just challenging every other nation in the world. Sora ends up brushing her off by stating that she simply doesn’t have enough faith in humanity before wandering off to fix the country. Using skills apparently gained from the Civilization series (no joke, Sora cites the game), Sora and Shiro go about fixing the country’s economy and food supply issues in a day after ensuring the loyalty of their advisors by abusing the 10 rules that govern the world.

After fixing their country, Sora and Shiro retire to the library to read about all the people they declared war on earlier in the day. After a short while, a strange magic sorta freezes most of the people in the palace in place, and the god of the world, Tet, shows up to talk to the duo. After a bit of back and forth, Sora claims that the reason Tet brought them to the world was effectively because he was a sore loser, at which the god simply laughs before admitting to it. Tet reveals that, before they can have their chess rematch, Sora and Shiro have to acquire the twelve chess pieces entrusted to each of the different races. To do so would effectively require conquering the world, which Sora vows to do. With that, Tet flies off, and the episode ends.

I’m beginning to notice how Shiro is effectively around only for fan service and the occasional joke. Despite getting equal billing as a main character with Sora, she almost seems like an accessory that is just drawn in most shots with him like a particularly identifying piece of clothing on main characters in other anime. Maybe we’ll get to see a game that the two play where she is the key to victory instead of Sora being a dick or just randomly pulling charisma out of thin air. I mean, right now it seems like Steph gets significantly more speaking parts and is more important in the story, and all she really does is ask questions to frame Sora’s monologues and provides exposition when it doesn’t make sense for Sora to know something.

Meh.

How many episodes are left?

Watch No Game, No Life on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders (Episode Four)
Player: Elk
Class: DJ

It’s ti~me for the Simulblast Winter season episode 4 title match on www.918thefan.com. In this corner, weighing in at a cult following manga with a supposedly immortal mangaka is JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure! This week’s challenge is to give voices to all the characters. I feel it’d be too easy to give them actual voice actor voices, so I’m going Hollywood on them, and being a little silly at the same time.

When we left off everyone got on a plane. It was a nice plane. Now, however, there’s a creepy old lady (played by Rosanne Barr) talking to Dio (played by Morgan Freeman) about fear while he beckons naked women to him so he can feed. Unlike traditional vampires, he just digs his fingers into her neck and somehow takes the blood that way. The cackling old lady lets us know our heroes’ flight won’t be a safe one.

They see a stag beetle and somehow all automatically think it’s a Stand. It lunges for JoJo (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) aaaaand…

OP Break! This is the music of amazing OPs long past. We need more good music like this. I have to reiterate how good this is.

While we’re on the subject of giving everyone voices, let’s give JoJo Sr. Gary Busey, Avdol can be Ahmed Ezz (I wanted an Egyptian actor for him), and Kakyoin can be played by Jake Gyllenhaal.

Back to the show, the bug attacks, and is even quicker than Star Platinum. Avdol calls this Stand “Tower of Grey” and says it is the cause for many accidents. JoJo counters with a flurry of strikes but it manages to dodge them all.

Then it talks… so let’s give the beetle Jim Carrey. They figure the Stand user must be pretending to be a sleeping passenger. While they consider this, the bug kills a bunch of people and rips their tongues out, and paints “Massacre” on the wall in blood. An old man wakes up, notices it, and freaks out, with Robin Williams’ voice.

Kakyoin attacks the bug with multiple Emerald Splash attacks, but it dodges and counter attacks by popping him in the mouth. He tries again and it’s dodged. The bug goes for Kakyoin’s tongue, but it’s suddenly pierced by a number of spikes, which happen to be his toes? The bug is destroyed, and the old man who was surprised by blood ended up being the user.

Despite their victory, however, they notice the plane is flying crooked. JoJo Sr. goes to check out the cockpit, and the stewardesses are both shocked by how handsome JoJo and Kakyoin are. It seems the pilots are dead and the autopilot is destroyed. The busted-up old man uses his last bit of strength to gloat and give an evil person speech about how they’ll never live. JoJo Sr. has flown in old planes before and decides he’s going to attempt a water landing, but he’s crashed 3 planes in the past. JoJo swears to never fly with his grandpa again.

They end up in Hong Kong, as they hadn’t made it anywhere near Egypt. A Hong Kong street vendor (played by Ken Jeong) tries to sell JoJo Sr. hot cola. He tells him Cola is supposed to be cold! They decide they have to get to Egypt by land or sea, but they only have 50 days to save Holly. JoJo Sr. says not to worry because of the story Around the World in 80 Days. They plot their course, understanding that they’ll be attacked by more Stand users.

Kakyoin gives everyone a lesson on ordering tea in Hong Kong. A tourist from France comes up and asks for help with the menu. JoJo Sr. wants to help, but JoJo just wanted him to go away. He sits down with the rest of them and they eat together. He makes note of star shaped carrots, and how they remind him of someone. Everyone is on edge because of the Joestar birthmark.

It’s Polnareff! Played by Jean Claude Van Damme! He attacks them with silver chariot, a fencer in silver armor, and Avdol brings out Magician’s Red.

It’s time to Walk Like an Egyptian.

Next episode, more awesome Stand fighting!

Watch JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Daimidaler (Episode Four)
Player: Knightshade
Class: DJ

What’s going on, everyone? I’m here and I’m still watching this show for god only knows why. I mean, each episode is weirder and weirder, and dare I say more perverted. Well, let’s take a look at Kenzen Robo Daimidaler episode 4.

So we start off with the Penguin Empire removing Hi-ERO particles from Ritz to finally succeed in infusing a penguin with Hi-ERO particles to go after the Daimidaler, but not before some awkward sexual tension and needless moaning. Yeah this is getting very old very fast, but anyway. Kyoko (played by Monica Rial) is getting annoyed at Koichi (played by Eric Vale) because I guess he wants to try new… sex position, perverted poses, boob grabbing? I’m not sure but none the less, she annoyed and that’s good enough for me to like her a bit for getting fed up with him.

We then see a fake Daimidaler piloted by Commander Six (voiced by Greg Ayres) just moving around the city not really causing problems, but then the real Daimidaler appears, rips off his arm, and beats the fake Daimidaler with its own arm. It then reveals its true form, which is another giant penguin mech. I fail to see the reason why the Penguin mech had to look like Daimidaler if its disguise could be knocked off so easily, but whatever. Anyway, the penguin mech gives off the same Hi-ERO particles as Daimidaler, and they have their big battle, which leads to Daimidaler’s left arm getting damaged and the enemy mech blowing up, but the pilot inside gets away.

We than cut to Kyoko meeting a mysterious stranger with no memories. “Gee I wonder who this could be” in gigantic quotes. Well, Kyoko says a crappy haiku and the mystery man falls in love with her. Then, quite quickly, he gets his memory back and wants to take her hostage, but finds he can’t do it because of… love, I guess. Kyoko then finds out that the mystery man was really Commander Six, and she vows to kill him. Again, they wanted to greet humanity, my god, but anyway Kyoko and Koichi get in Daimidaler and the two have a rematch, resulting in the Daimidaler winning but Kyoko crying because she wanted Commander Six dead. Uhhh… Huzzah?!

Well this was ok I guess, but it’s still pretty weird, so I’ll be nice and give it 7 Commanders out of 10. This is an adventure of weirdness, but I hang on for all of you. With that, I’ll see you all next week.

This player has paid 10 points the editor due to grammar issues in their summary.

Watch Daimidaler on Funimation or talk about this episode on our forums.

Black Bullet (Episode Four)
Player: Midnight
Class: DJ

Alright, sorry for the absence last week, but here I am with episode four of Black Bullet. What’s this week’s challenge? Dubs? Oh, now we’re speaking my language, literally. Well, even though it’s not licensed for streaming by Funimation and there is a slim chance they’re going to pick it up to dub, I’ll make a dream Funimation cast for fun. Totally not because it’s the company I know the actor pool of the best or anything. That would be stupid. So let’s hop right into the episode!

Well, I’m going to note now, since I missed Simulblast for last week and I thought it would be unfair to watch it late. I’m wandering into episode four completely blind. The first person to speak in this episode is Enju; I have already decided the best voice actress for her would be the highly talented Luci Christian, known probably best for her roles as Nami in One Piece and Duck in Princess Tutu. I feel she would be the best fit for this cursed child. Rentaro is next, and I’ve decided that his voice is best fit to Jason Liebrecht, perhaps best known for his roles as Syaoran in Card Captors and Train in Black Cat.

The two head into an area full of dead bodies, Oh god, wait, I recognize that guy from episode two; he’s the really strong one from the meeting. His sword is hanging out of his back. I think that, for his short-lived appearance, he’d be best with Chris Sabat as a voice. I’m sure that is a man that needs no introduction, but some of his work includes Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist and Vegeta from DBZ. The heck happened here? I’ll double back after this episode to find out. Oh right, um, Kohina is the next one to speak. I’ve been thinking that perhaps Monica Rial would be a good choice for her. You can hear Monica in such roles as Mei Misaki in ‘Another’ and Hyatt in ‘Excel Saga.’ I often think of her when I think of creepy roles and Kohina freaks me out greatly. Then there is her father, who I am thinking for sure J. Micheal Tatum would make a perfect voice for. Once again, I’m not sure if this man needs an introduction, but his roles include Issac from Baccano, Kyouya From Ouran Highschool Host Club, and Sebastian from Black Butler.

Kisara is called in to talk to her aunt… grandmother… I can’t remember how they’re related to her and the president of the area. Kisara, I believe that either Colleen Clinkenbeard or Stephanie Young would be good choices for her. These introductions are beginning to tire me, so I’m gonna say look those ones up on your own.

It seems that Rentaro himself isn’t entirely human; he might be made of some of the same things that the villain is. Oh man, he punched through the bad guy’s barrier. Oh, he is made of Vareum! Kohina freaks out about someone hurting her papa. This results in a fight against two human weapons and their little girls. This guy keeps trying to recruit Rentaro. Hasn’t he…

Oh my god! That’s a lot of blood, he blew a hole through Rentaro’s stomach. That’s a lot of blood…

Enju calls out for him not to leave him. He grabs a medicine he was given that could heal him or turn him into a Gastrea… and shoves it into his stomach. The bleeding stops, and he manages to stay human. The fight continues. Oh man! Hiruko is kicked into the ocean with his mask shattered.

I shouldn’t feel as sad as I do about Kohina’s crying, but there is no time to be happy about their victory. A stage five Gastrea has shown itself. It looks kind of like a squid of sorts. This seems very Evangelion all of a sudden as they enter a giant weapon to attack the Gastrea.

Wait, did they just leave Kohina there? The poor lost girl? Without her father? Likely to snap at any second? I don’t feel very good about this, particularly since I don’t believe Hiruko is totally gone for a second.

Yeah, very Evangelion with the way things are going wrong with the giant weapon, and the stage five is one of the ones that previously almost destroyed the world.

Is he going to rip off his arm? He ripped off his arm to use as a shell! Oh god! That just looked painful. Now he has to shoot it manually. With no knowledge of how to… Well he’s the main character; I have faith. I mean, he did rip off his arm to make this plan work.

Enju has the same faith in Rentaro that I have and she doesn’t even know he has main character syndrome. She has one moment to her annoying self, and then it totally goes away. As I said, it hits its target, and the Gastrea goes down. Now let’s see how the next six minutes of this episode go. Still making a bet on Hiruko being totally fine.

So this girl who I’m not familar with… Oh wait, no, that’s the girl who was with the
Chris Sabat guy… Um uh… wow, i’m too upset at this scene to even think of voice actors. She’s going to die, she has to die. She’s turning into a Gastrea…

I can’t… I can’t even… Oh god… I’m going to cry… that… was… so painful. So right… uh voice actress… I think perhaps Kate Oxly… maybe. Rentaro comes against this old man and tells it as it is… this man tried to set it all up… This is the same man that saved him ten years ago.

I believe maybe Ed Blaylock might work for this old man. I’ll give an introduction for this one: the voice of Sengoku from One Piece. Now, as for the question posed at the end of this episode, what are Gastra… how does a broken tricycle summon a level five one? The mystery grows deeper and deeper, and I still don’t believe Hiruko is done with.

Wait… Enju’s corrosion rate is higher then he said, wait, what? Who’s this glasses guy in the preview? What’s going on! I guess I’m going to have to find out next time. Well, that’s it for Black Bullet episode four, now excuse me while I go watch episode three.

Watch Black Bullet on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Week 004 Tally

1. Kanashimi: 400
2. Bobby Henshin: 390
3. Kayarath: 370
4. Whiskahs: 320
5. Elk: 310
6. Knightshade: 300
7. Midnight: 280
8. The Editor: 10

Next week’s challenge: Include as many internet memes as possible in your episode summary!

Make sure to vote for your favorite review below! You can give your favorite an extra 20 points.