For an episode with “deceit” right in the title, this one was shockingly predictable! Come on, Shiki – where’s the adventure? Where’s the challenge? If last week’s episode was an edge-of-your-seat horror thriller, this episode is more like…well, it wasn’t that. I’m not mad, Shiki. I’m just disappointed.

So, Yuuki is watching helplessly (uh, maybe you could get up off your butt and defend your buddy?) as Megumi leans over to chomp on his boy-love, Toru, but then…it’s all a dream. What? Wait a second. Yeah, right, Shiki! As if I’m going to believe that! I call shenanigans.

Monk 007 sets off to dig a little deeper into the mysterious deaths, by pestering the friends and family of the deceased. This strikes me as a bit of a jerk move, but I digress (also, goggles are for your EYES not your head – get it right, nerd!). One thing he uncovers that’s a little interesting is that all the dead people (or at least most of them) quit their jobs right before keeling over. While he’s investigating, he hears about another death (a teenage girl) and another potential death (the librarian has suddenly quit his job).

Yuuki is no longer being haunted by Megumi and he seems a bit…I dunno, sad about it. Make up your freaking mind, you little twerp! Then Shiki really gives him something to be sad about: Toru isn’t at school. Aoi (turns out she’s his sister, totally missed that the first time around) says it’s no big deal, he’s at home playing a new video game. But when Yuuki goes to check in on him (to check in, not to make out, just to CHECK IN, suuuuuure) he sees the Doc rushing into the house. Uh oh.

At this point I don’t even need to see it confirmed, I already know and I’m already on my knees crying and carrying on. Toru is dead. (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!)

Meanwhile, Masao (remember him? ugh, him) is positively gleeful at the news that his sweet, normal-looking little nephew Hiromi seems to have caught the dreaded anemia. He all but spins around the room like a ballerina until his daddy gives him a smack (I say, sir! Hit him again!) and his big brother yells at him. Masao takes off running down the street and it’s the most ridiculous mess of a run I’ve ever seen, even by anime standards, but for this character…yeah, it kinda works.

Before Toru’s wake, Megumi’s summer postcard is finally delivered to Yuuki’s house. He tears it up and throws it out the window (and also gets a little eye wrinkle that creeps the heck out of me). Look, dude, your bad decisions belong to you and you’re free to make them, but maybe you want to rethink that one? I mean, she killed your friend and all. Is pissing this girl off the right thing to be doing?

Well, Yuuki doesn’t care, he’s got a wake to go to and a grumpy face to make. Here we get a potentially great little interlude in which Yuuki asks to see Toru’s face one last time (to kiss him? to check for bite marks that aren’t his? to weep and scream over the corpse?), but sadly all he does is stare down and wonder about where Toru went. I was really hoping he’d cause a scene.

Thank goodness Masao’s there to cause one for him. Talk about doing the ugly cry!

Later, Masao tries to reminisce about the good news they all had with Toru, but everybody’s too sad to put up with him. Then he tries to start a fight with Yuuki, but Yuuki is too zen and withdrawn for that nonsense. It takes Aoi shouting him down for Masao to shut up and leave.

More silly running, more melodramatic muttering. But wait, what’s that? A ghost? Going into Masao’s house? Just begging to be followed? Don’t mind if he does!

Masao is of course too dumb to not follow the ghosty thing – and of course it’s that librarian, and of course he’s a vampire now, and OF COURSE Masao gets chomped. My feelings for the guy aside, I think this is a good move in terms of the story. Masao’s going to be a lot more interesting/useful as an evil entity than a human being.

This episode was about as predictable as a trashy romance novel, just following the formula to get us from point A to point B. In Shiki’s case, point B is, “Yuuki is surrounded by creepy vampires made from people who are sort of obsessed with him.” Or maybe it’s, “kids these days, no respect for tradition.” Or maybe even, “everybody dies eventually.” By point Z it will just be Yuuki, all by his lonesome, standing around looking grumpy and tired because those annoying nightshades won’t let him get any sleep.

Anyway, this was clearly an “advance the plot,” episode. While it didn’t particularly thrill or excite me, I grudgingly admit that sometimes that’s necessary, but I demand better for episode 6. You hear me Shiki? I’m talking at you!

Until next time, here’s your assignment: tell me a joke where the punchline is “SLAP!” I’ll go first. What did the five fingers say to the face?

…SLAP!