Hey, we were poets and we didn’t even know it!

This week’s challenge: … —?! This week the player can pick which challenge they would rather do. A). Earn 30 points for doing any challenge that has occurred thus far in Simulblast! (please make sure to let the viewers know what challenge you are attempting). B) Gain a 100 points by writing your entire episode review in a poetic structure (haiku, ABAB, limerick, iambic pentameter, your choice!).

Wake Up, Girls! (Episode Seven)
Player: Kanashimi
Class: Boss

Ah, back in my day I used to emcee at Poetry Slams
Then I was much more into rhyming than I currently am
So if this poem sucks major butts
You can just call me a big klutz

This episode starts with the turmoil from the last
Airi has been told to leave the group and is now an outcast.
The girls don’t know how to respond
Due to the friendly and close bond

Matsuda chews this I-1 producer out
And despite his constant screams and shouts
The president refuses to acknowledge it’s wrong
Oh jeez, this episode’s going to be long…

The girls look to their leader, Nanase, for the answer
But this only gets the drama pot to stir
“What is a leader to do?” She asks
Why does she always have these tasks

After much debate the girls decide
That even if a fired hide
They will protect their friend, Airi
And I hope this I-1 guy will be sorry

Mayu and Nanase leave to retrieve the missing link
And the rest confront I-1 guy in another blink
I-1 guy demands they win a crane game for him
Because he’s a lazy S.O.B. and kinda dim

The others encourage Airi to stay
And no one can keep the tears at bay
When the episode draws to a close
Wake Up, Girls! is reunited against their foes

Emotional and feeling good
I feel a sense of sisterhood
If only every week this occurred
But that would be just absurd

Watch Wake Up, Girls! on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Sakura Trick (Episode Seven)
Player: Midnight
Class: DJ

I don’t believe I’ve ever told: watching me try to rhyme is a sight to behold. It is a pain; it’s worse than watching the wrecking of a train. So to you I will spare, so you don’t need to rip out your hair. Instead of making you read something lame, I will write this review like the show is a video game.

So now I’ve picked up the new volume of Sakura Trick. The last game had a awesome school festival mini-game! So far this Yuri game has been a lot of fun. I just wish that it gave you more options to explore the other couples; the story is sort of streamlined to focus you in the direction of Haruka and Yuu. Let’s explore what kind of game play we’re going to get this time.

Oh dear, no wonder the ratings on this one skyrocketed. The first part of the game is all about fan-service! At least that’s what I thought when I started playing. There was all this button mashing when Haruka and Mitsuki are learning how to swim. I’m really bad at button mashing, but you don’t need to do it for too long. I just barely managed to pass it. After that, the plot hit and it hit hard.

Like a wreaking ball out of left field. We get dropped on us Katone’s sister Shinobu, who wants Katone to stay with her. Also we find out that Katone is going to be set up in an arranged marriage. The burdens of being rich huh? In a panic they give us a few options to go with.

-Tell the truth
-leave Shizuku
-Swimming contest

After some rigorous debating, I chose the swimming contest. I mean, just coming out and saying that Shizuku and Katone are a couple could lead to a bad ending! So we begin the swimming contest. The plot dictates that Shizuku can’t swim, so Yuu gives her a paddle board to help her.

Now MORE button mashing. I hate button mashing. I’m not good at it and it hurts my fingers. So after about three restarts and me throwing my controller, Shizuku finally wins the swimming contest against Shinobu. So at least for this volume, Katone and Shizuku get to stay together. That was a close one; they’re my favorite couple so I really don’t want them to come to a “Bad End”. The first part of the game wraps up and we reveal the title for the second part.

Shopping with Yuu. Oh boy, this could either be really fun or really boring depending on the gameplay mechanic and the plot elements they put in this chapter. Yuu-chan wants to buy a scarf. However, it seems that Shizuku has bought the last one.

The challenge of this chapter is getting Yuu the scarf she wants so we can keep her happiness level up. We search the shelf, and there isn’t a single one to be found. Her happiness meter is dropping by the second. We have some options.

-Go to another Store
-Ask the attendant

Let’s go with, “Ask the Attendant.” The dialogue progresses with Yuu asking the attendant if they have any in the back. It turns out that they do! However right after it’s delivered she finds another scarf she wants. So the entire thing was pointless.

At least her happiness meter is off the charts, and it earns us a kiss reward. This game was sort of short compared to some of the previous installments. I did enjoy the plot elements in the first chapter even if the button mashing mini games got on my nerves. Everyone’s happiness meters are still at max, which will be good when we start up the next disk.

The graphics for this installment were as good as usual, as was the soundtrack. I hope the next time we get more choice events. Everything seemed a little streamlined this time. I’m also still hoping to work a relationship meter for Kaede and Yuzu.

Anyway, that was my review, I hope that it pleased you. I am going to bring this review to and end, but be assured the next one is right around the bend.

Watch Sakura Trick on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Gundam Build Fighters (Episode Nineteen)
Player: Elk
Class: DJ

Gundam Build Fighters

The world tournament heats up

Episode nineteen

How appropriate this day

The samurai bares his blade

Dealing with devils

But for now we enjoy song

OP brings us joy

Gunpla’s dark inner secret

Please buy more gunpla today

Young American

With a deal to get closer

Plavsky Particle

The woman with two faces

Promises that won’t be kept

The Chairman’s great fear

Reiji or Sei in focus

Girlfriend’s arrival

An owner’s daughter owns him

Grudgingly accepted fate

Battle approaches

Conqueror of Valkyrie

He meets with his foe

Their memories are faulty

He makes a rash decision

Their just hearts in shock

Refusal is the only

Option left for them

A counter challenge is made

The victor will have their way

All eyes on the stage

Glorious battle erupts

Under the full moon

The samurai’s sword is keen

A beam cannot pierce it’s edge

Risky moves are made

Taking to the sword unarmed

With RG system

The blades cannot match it’s force

They shatter under pressure

A secret technique

In the past brought victory

Now only stalemate

Openly she moves two faced

Time for repair is given

New arms made post-haste

The warrior’s spirit wakes

Please shut up woman

He makes it on stage at last

Glue is their last ditch effort

Manly spirits clash

In the hearts of these young boys

The final punch thrown

Victory for our heroes

Renewed spirit from his loss

The Italian

And the mysterious girl

Will battle next ep

Her identity revealed?

Next week we might just find out

Watch Gundam Build Fighters on Gundam.Info or talk about this episode on our forums.

Nobunagun (Episode Seven)
Player: Bobby Henshin
Class: DJ

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 7 of Nobunagun. We start our episode on the high seas where we find a large old Japanese
gunship from World War II. This ship was said to have sank into the ocean while trying to attack America through the Panama Canal. Now this weeks challenge was to ether to make a poem out of this review or do a past challenge we have already had. I am not the poetic type so, I think I will have to do a past challenge… or I could rap it! Yeah, that is not going to happen. I will save you the torture.

So, like I was saying, we start out with the resurrected Japanese gunship called the Misashi. Now I’m not talking about people remaking the ship. I’m talking about the Invansionary Objects making a worm cluster, pulling the ship back together, and using suicide bomber objects as cannon balls. With this new threat continuing to inch along towards the Panama Canal, Sio, as usual, is nerding out over the newly resurrected Misashi and babbling on about how awesome the ship is. They are at a standstill though because their weapons are not able to damage regular objects, just the Invasionary Objects. So Vidocq comes up with a plan to have Nobunagun fire at the bridge until all the Objects guarding that part of the bridge move away and then make a hole big enough to drop the man carrying missile inside. Once inside, Jack and Newton will be sent in to take out the main core of the ship.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that that they also found out that the ship is filled with unhatched eggs of Invasionary Objects? So it is their job to destroy the eggs then destroy the core of the ship, sending it to the bottom of the ocean once again. The operation is going smoothly until Sio decided to let her love for military vessels get the best of her, and says that she is going to destroy the core. No one decides to stop her so she plunges right in. Jack and Newton finish destroying all the eggs, and Nobunagun has found the core. Then we are met with the stereotypical cliche of high school girl attacked by tentacles. While being devoured, she sees the bones of The Misashi’s crew strapped to the walls of the engine room. Flashes of images go into her mind about the ship’s departure. She realizes that it is the memories of the ship. She takes good aim and destroys the core, sending the ship back to the bottom of the sea.

That’s it for the review sadly. Nothing really to this episode. Now for the Challenge part of the review. I know I can’t get the poem points, so I am going to do the challenge from the first week of the Simulblast where you had to figure out the ending. Before, I said it might be a tournament style thing like in Shaman King, But I think it’s now just going to end up an all out war with the Objects, and Nobunagun has to kill the mother brain now. Simple and sad, really, but still a good series.

Watch Nobunagun on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Log Horizon (Episode Nineteen)

Player: Siege

Class: Content Provider

Episode Nineteen
I missed last week, I’m sorry
But hey, look, haiku

No sign of goblins
Our heroes are now at ease
That won’t last too long

I expect combat
And a lot of it, to boot
Not sure if I’m glad

During the OP
I would like to say to you
“Five more syllables”

I set myself up
To write thirty-plus Haiku
I will not give up

Princess infra-red
Haiku will leave no room for
That explanation

The goblins attack
Crusty screws them up badly
Still many to go

Yep, I was correct
Lots and lots of epic fights
Not quite what I want

Military plans
Are, like, the most boring thing
Someone punch something

Shiroe talks and talks
This is pretty typical
It is getting old

What’s up with blonde kid?
There was a weird friends list thing
That one episode

No, but like legit
I want to know about that
Nevermind these fights

I ordered pizza
It hasn’t shown up here yet
Man, I’m so hungry

Oh, right, anime
Blonde elf chick gives a pep-talk
Yo, you go elf girl

Leading child armies
Wasn’t that in Metal Gear?
And wasn’t it bad?

Sullying the fights
The MMO junk pops up
I’m falling asleep

That girl’s companion
Is an exploding jet dog
Pretty freakin’ sweet

The pizza tracker
It says my pizza’s baking
It’s more intriguing

The Shrieker Echo
Alerts them of the goblins
There are more coming

Managing MP
Talking about their magic
I could not care less

Okay, Crunchyroll
I should subscribe to your stuff
I can’t deal with ads

The kids must keep up
They have to hold out one hour
It’s still not intense

Its started raining
Is the weather that deadly?
They act like it is

Pizza pizza now
Pizza pizza pizza now
Now is the pizza

Back to anime
Minori tries to hold on
(She’s the little girl)

Time is frozen still
Rudy makes a deadly move
This can just go well

Oh wow, here it comes
Spoilers are coming on fast
Skip the next Haiku

SO, RUDY, OKAY?
HE’S A PERSON OF THE LAND
I’M GONNA CRY, MAN

Wow, what a twist there
You should go watch it, for sure
That was pretty good

I’m glad they did that
I was losing faith in this
They’ve got my interest

It’s still pretty sad
But, while avoiding spoilers
I am super pumped.

Watch Log Horizon on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Engaged To Unidentified (Episode Seven)
Player: Kayarath
Class: Content Provider

Everyone loves Benio-sama with all their heart and soul
No one can resist Benio’s charisma, being loved by her is Konoha’s goal

Getting close to Benio is what Konoka tries with all her might

Although Benio prefers to hang out with lolis like Mashiro every night
Girls do not like it when someone get in the way of their love
Enter Niko Ono, reporter and now spy, to give her the shove

The protagonist, Kobeni passed her math test with ease
Henceforth, she helped her friends and family study, to avoid a failing spree

Even Mashiro hung out with them, even though she didn’t need to study

Ultizing her magic powers, she gets people to treat her like a buddy
No magic cheats for Hakuya! He wants to pass that test legit
It seems Niko Ono is going overboard on the spying; she doesn’t know when to quit

Doom and gloom befall on Konoha, who fears the plan will be exposed
Ever will she hate herself, should her relationship with Benio be closed
Now Mashiro fears the school; it can get scary after class
There she encounters Konoka, who scares her away real fast
“I will be Benio’s number one!” Konoka likes to rant and rave
Forever will she fail at it, since first borns is what Benio unfaves
I forgot to mention that Konoka and Mashiro share a common race!
Except Hakuya didn’t mention it, he didn’t want to make it a big case
Done with this summary I am! And no major plot points were misplaced!

Watch Engaged To Unidentified on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Kill La Kill (Episode Nineteen)
Player: Knightshade
Class: DJ

Good evening to any and all, far and near. It’s Knightshade again with an episode you should fear. Things have gone wrong gone amiss and awry. It looks like our heroes’ hopes are going to die. I just realized that this review is going too slow. Let’s stop the small talk and start up the show.

As the Covers start to kidnap and eat all the people, we see the Elite Four not being quite so evil. We see the students try to run with all their might; sadly they get eaten things aren’t looking alright. Satsuki triggers a bomb to allow Ryuko to leave, giving hope for the future, we have to believe.

One month has passed since the Covers took over and to everyone else their doom gets closer. We see the Elite Four have joined up with Nudist Beach, to gain back their freedom which is just out of their reach. Meanwhile, Satsuki has been held captive by Ragyo, who explains that her father none other than Soichiro, had faked his own death, so he could raise Ryuko to put Ragyo in her very own casket.

The Elite Four soon take a stand against the Covers, everyone beaten and no time to recover. Ryuko awakens from her month long slumber; she wakes up super ticked off and cuts all the Covers. In one shot, not even trying, we see a mass clothing graveyard; the life fabric’s dying. She then shows hostility towards Senketsu, her very best friend, she screams she’ll never wear him again, their friendship is dead.

This episode was painful and real hard to watch, the hate level I feel has gone up a notch. I have to see that smug look on Nui’s face again, I’m losing my mind, it’s messing with my zen. Not a bad episode in my humble opinion, I thank you my audience, I’m glad that you listened. An 8 out of 10 what I have given it, I can’t stand this rhyming, not for one more minute. I’m ending this now and with all due respect. Hey can I get my damn paycheck?!

Watch Kill La Kill on Crunchyroll & Daisuki or talk about this episode on our forums.

Nisekoi (Episode Seven)
Player: Zero Gravity
Class: DJ

A Haiku Is Hard
Rhyming Is Even Harder
Damn All These Long Names


Tsugumi Hates Me
Three Syllable Names Hate Me
Chitoge Does Too


—–

Pretty Boy Arrives
Acquaintance Of Main Gorilla
Or Is It All Lies?

Tsugumi Informs
Claude Sends Spy To Learn More
No Matching Uniform

Tsugumi Digress
Meeting Boyfriend Is A Must
Beansprout Come At Once

Tsugumi Gives Bless
Raku Cannot Believe Ears
Boy May Not Be Bad

Tsugumi And Miss
Life Long Friends Always On Mind
Stop Feeding Monkey

Boy Is Annoying
A Bathroom Break Calls For Her
Tsugumi Raku

Tsugumi Pulls Gun
Unconvinced of Raku’s Love
Threatens To Kill Him

Raku Fights Him Back
His Words Are Very Mighty
An Act He Regrets

Chitoge Says Stop
Tsugumi Cannot Accept
A Challenge To Duel

Childhood Promise
Childhood Promise Everywhere
Always Ten Years Ago

Tsugumi Departs
Chitoge Conveys Advice
Raku Cannot Lose

Raku Charges Him
Tsugumi Cheats With Boom Stick
Raku On The Run

Raku Quips At Boy
Tsugumi Does Not Take Well
Raku Regrets Quip

Raku Cools Him Off
Jumping From Window To Pool
Do Not Try At Home

Removing His Clothes
Raku Removes Tsugumi’s
Why Does Boy Have Boobs?

Chitoge Reveals
Tsugumi Is A Girl To Class
School Girls Are Distraught

Tsugumi Was Named
By Four Eyed Hitman Named Cluade
Claude Is Gender Blind

Raku Calls Her Cute
Chitoge Finds Them Hiding
A Hijinx Ensued

Tsugumi’s Ribbon
Makes Her Look Like A Real Girl
Chitoge’s Forgotten?

Tsugumi and Chitoge are old friends. Tsugumi is threatened by Raku’s relationship with Chitoge. Tsugumi discovers her female side, but does she know something Chitoge also has forgotten? One of the things I couldn’t mention with a simple Haiku was my opinions on the episode. I’m happy to say that the original comedy relief is in full swing, with appropriate reactions and sounds to inappropriate situations and faces. Simple scenes, where it looks like a character is screaming is followed by the sound of someone clearly Whispering in your ear. I also want to take a moment and apologize for my absence in the last few weeks, but no more delays! Now that my system is up and running, I’ll be bringing you a review every week, with or without a haiku. But one more for the road.

Nisekoi Is Fun
I Recommend You Watch It
To Enjoy it Yourself

Wait a minute…

Watch Nisekoi on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.

Week 007 Tally

1. Kanashimi: 2,557
2. Midnight: 2,141
3. Elk: 2,018
4. Bobby Henshin: 1,655
5. Siege: 1,450
6. Kayarath: 1,410
7. Knightshade: 1,360
8. Zero Gravity: 880

Next week’s challenge: Watch the episode without sound (or subtitles) and guess what happens. Why? Because we said so!

Make sure to vote for your favorite review below! You can give your favorite an extra 20 points.