In this episode we learn that vampires are lonely and sometimes killing people they love makes them sad. (But not sad enough not to do it, apparently.) I say: Boo hoo, vampires. BOO HOO.

We get a bit of backstory about our creepy little girl vampire: she was rich and happy and then got bit by the male boss vamp. Why? Dunno. We didn’t get that part of the story, just the part about how she had a whole bunch of servants and a big house. You know, the important part.

We also get a little of Nao’s story: abandoned by her loser parents as a young girl, she finally finds love with her husband and his family…before, you know, vamping them. Only none of them rose to be with her as she hoped they would. Which is pretty sad, actually.

Meanwhile, Toru got “summoned” by the little girl and he’s shaking in his boots over it. Apparently she’s got quite a reputation for being cruel. Yeah, whatever – cruel and two feet tall. She doesn’t punish him just yet; instead we get some more of her story. She woke up in a coffin and screamed until someone came to help her. And then she ate him. No good deed goes unpunished, folks! Somebody took her in again (I mean, they shut her up in a shed alone) and fed her a steady diet of servant women. When she escaped and returned to the house, though, they were gone. She looks and looks and looks for her family, but never finds them and enough time passes that a mortal human’s life would have long ended. Aww, sad.

So Toru hears this story and he’s like, wtf? What do I care? And she’s like, hey dude, just making conversation.

Later, Megumi is skipping along a path singing to herself about how happy she is to be eating so many people (this is not hyperbole, for serious) and comes across Kaori and Akira’s dead daddy. He’s risen, see, and is not super receptive the idea that he go munch on the rest of his family. I am shocked by his reluctance! Shocked I say!

But Papa can’t stay away. He goes home to see his wife and kids, but can’t get in because he’s dead and no one invited him. The barking dog wakes up Mama, and Papa is like, hey! It’s me! Can I come in? And Mama is like, NO FREAKIN’ WAY YOU CRAZY ZOMBIE! So he eats her. But he feels super bad about it, I’m sure.

The next morning the kids are all, why did we sleep late? Where’s Mom? Where’s my breakfast? How come Mom looks so anemic? Are we next? Why is Megumi such an epic jerk? Does this mean we don’t have to go to school anymore? Can we fight vampires now or what?

Yuuki comes back (and wearing that ridiculous coat) to have a powwow with the Doc about their options. Uh, fight or die? Those are the options, right? Yuuki wants to help with the killing, but also admits that he’ll have to be killed too before the fight is over. You had me at hello, Yuuki.

Akira gets all gung-ho to fight vampires on his own and breaks into a house to kill one. For being undead and strong and such, they’re pretty easy to kill. He even had time to give a whole big speech! Oh, wait, just kidding. He actually gets tied up by Cat Ear Hair Dude and left as a snack for the very vamp he intended to kill. Didn’t except a sneaky vampire to go sneaking around in the dark, did ya? Did ya??

This is going to sound strange coming from me and it pains me even to say it, but I wish Yuuki was around more. I know, I know, he’s an insufferable, melodramatic character, but until very recently he felt like the focal character (he, the Doc and Monquitto are our three musketeers). Yuuki’s experiences were our experiences. He was the character through which we viewed the show, more or less. And now he’s completely abandoned us and I feel disoriented. Instead of a character to relate to, we’re left with some boring secondary characters and too many questions. Where does he go? What is he up to? How come he can go out during the day? Where did he find that hideous coat?

Do you miss Yuuki? Or is Shiki better off without him now? (Leaving aside the obvious answer that Shiki would have been better off without him from the very beginning, let’s just work with what we’ve got.)