Other possible episode titles: Seventeen Bad Decisions. Seventeen People Who I Thought Would Live Through This Series But Won’t. Seventeen WTF Moments. Seventeen Hundred Lingering Questions. Sotoba: Population Seventeen (Or Less).

Remember that whole Doc killing his undead wife thing? Turns out, Monkenstein is still feeling pretty bad about being friends with a murderer – and also feeling bad that he considers it murder. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Meeting up with Toru in the woods doesn’t help matters; he’s just as confused and conflicted about his need to kill to feed. Characters in legit conflict? No easy answers? Huh. Maybe there’s hope for Shiki yet.

Back at home base, we learn that one of the volunteers has died. And also Daddy Monk is…gone. Weird, considering how obviously ill he is. After snooping a bit, Baby Monk finds a creepy letter on Daddy’s computer, inviting the Kirishikis to come for dinner. What’s on the menu? DADDY MONK, OF COURSE. Yikes.

Meanwhile more and more people are falling ill, and now Doc’s decided to deny that it’s an epidemic. Interesting game plan – the green-haired nurse thinks so, too. She wants to know, “What’s up, Doc?” but he doesn’t have an answer and she wanders away unsatisfied and probably ready to quit her job.

Later, a very dirty deranged Kaori shows up at Casa del Monk and tries to eat a shovel. Or something. Given that her whole family is dying off one after another, she’s pretty freaked out about her chances of survival. She’s even dug her own grave already. Let’s revisit that: she’s dug her own grave. Yikes. YIKES.

Unfortunately Baby Monk isn’t able to offer much in terms of comfort, just the usual mumbo-jumbo about how no one can predict these things and blahdy blah. I dunno, I figure when everyone around you is dying, maybe thinking your time is near is not so far off? Sick with himself, or something, Baby Monk heads to the vampire lair to have a discussion or get eaten or something.

Shots of Yuuki! Running through the woods! Legs pumping! Coat flapping! To where? From what? Who cares! Go, Yuuki, go!

The green-haired nurse gets a call from another nurse that she’s in trouble, and rushes to her friend’s aid. She almost gets hit by a bus and…wait? Was that the nurse who called her for help? Inside the truck? Bound and gagged? This is cause for alarm, I think, but the green-haired nurse chooses instead to get all catatonic and allow some vamps to feed on her. What is going on?!

The head lady vampire shows up to visit the Doc in her best outfit yet (looks just like my prom dress). He tries to stake her, but her hubby intervenes. (Did anyone else not realize the hubs is human and not a vampire? I missed that little detail completely.) She goads the Doc into having a little tantrum about how stupid all the other villagers are and how he’s sick of being the only smart one and maybe he’ll just be stupid for awhile…and then he lets her bite him.

Are you kidding me? I mean, seriously. SERIOUSLY.

Suffice to say this did not go AT ALL in the direction I anticipated it would. I guess that’s a good thing, but it’s also a totally confusing thing. I mean, what kind of person actively fights against an Evil Thing and then one day just says, “oh, heck, you win, I’ll be an Evil Thing, too.” WHO DOES THAT? I don’t even know what this series is about anymore. It’s clearly not a fight against vampires. They won!

Who’s even alive anymore? Kaori for the time being (girl’s going to give herself a heart attack from all the stress if the vamps don’t get her). Mommy Monk. My favorite butch nurse. The dog? I can’t even think of five characters. Who else am I missing?