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Old 06-21-2011, 03:33 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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littlefileuser is meh
My Sun (original poem)

I was extremely inspired. As you can tell, by nature. I have two other short-quick poems that I'd like to submit so please check them out as well as my first. I'd really want input on these as I've only just begun again to write this crap. Another free verse. You may think this an interesting idea, I sort of do. I want to know if the message is clear and other personal inputs, hm? Sorry for so many posts here guys.
Sparkling, enticing, I want to touch.
Like a star, but impossible to reach.
You're too far away, Pavel, it's difficult to think.
Your undying existence to me, though, is what keeps me with you.

I know you're there,
though I can't see your face.
Your shape, your figure;
I am blinded by the light.
You forbid me to sleep,
You replace the Sun;
It isn't 'til you leave may I am allowed to go.
You lock me in a house, my love, but I am so glad.
If you are my Sun, dear, then I don't need the world's.
I may edit this some more.

- littlefileuser -

Last edited by littlefileuser; 06-21-2011 at 03:40 AM.
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littlefileuser , love , my sun , poem , poetry , review , uyen vo

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