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02-16-2012, 11:03 PM | #6 |
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: space oklahoma
Posts: 132
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Re: Bittersweet Violin
too many repeated words, the more descriptive termsneed to be first then the nondescript( ie glass should be something like chalice or grail or goblet)
second order of the dragon was led by dracula third the name would be dracul not dragos it was the turks nopt the church that were against dracula the man van helsing was not born until the early 1900s http://www.draculas.info/vlad_iii_dracula/ i suppose as a n early attempt it would be ok but you seriously need to find a good editor ar thesaurus
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