Twisted grant a wish

[Erinovauch]

granted, your head explodes from all this knowledge

I wish to have the most delicious stew ever without any problems or negative side effects

Granted, but you can never stop eating it, ever.

I wish to have the ability to look at a book and instantly know the story and all the details of it.

[Erinovauch]

granted, you are trapped in the library of congress and you go into a coma from all the influx of new information

I wish for ultimate epicality

Granted, but with ultimate epicality comes ultimate failure.

I wish that whatever things I want to be given to me in working order, freely, and undamaged.

[Erinovauch]

granted, starting with your ideal death

I wish to die in the most bad*** way possible

[Rhetorical Gamer]

Granted! But it happens 50 years from now
I wish for a working Spartan Laser

granted but it will only work once
i wish for the new powerglove album

[Kate]

Granted, but you discover there's no CD inside the case.

I wish for my own laptop.

granted but it broke on the way there
i wish for absolutely nothing

[Rhetorical Gamer]

Granted! But people kept giving you stuff DRIVING YOU MAD!
I wish for THE SPACE BATTLESHIP YAMATO WITH CREW AND WORKING GUNS!!!!

Granted, but you have no ammo or fuel.

I wish for a glass of water.

[bemused_Bohemian]

It shall be granted. Too bad you're in the middle of the Gobi desert with an old abandoned German WW2 tank artifact, no fuel, 1 day K-ration remaining, no water, yet there is a canteen with 8-oz sand and a dead scorpion inside. Man, the war stories that old iron girl must've experienced. Perhaps in your final moments of dehydration and delusion she'll share some of them with you.

I wish to preside at the next old guys who wore that god-awful Godzilla wetsuit convention. Happy Times!!!

[SoulArbiter]

You do so. Now you are an old guy.

I wish to "Bon Voyage...across the world..."

[Rhetorical Gamer]

Granted but the world oceans is dried up and you cant go anywhere.
I wish for a 91.8 The Fan shirt!

[Shidohari]

granted, but when it arrives you realize it is motheaten...

I wish i well dang there's alot of things i wish...let's go with two...

First wish is i wish there will be no war between north and south korea

second wish...:: side tracked by david tennant:: um...i wish to take better care of my financial income and spend wiser

[bemused_Bohemian]

Re wish #1: Likely only God can handle that situation therefore I can't grant you that request (though I wish I could plus a few other unsettled civilization issues sprinkled across our Planet.

Re wish#2: Don't worry, Be Happy: buy a case of 91.8theFan T's from Zazzle. Money problem? No worries, that's what credit card debt is all about....

I wish for less damn gubmint interference in our lives.

Granted but then anarchy takes over and your being ruled by a tyrant

I wish so a super computer

[choum123]

(I'm guessing that's I wish for a super computer)

Granted but you have no warranty and your computer breaks when you first use it

I wish for a bucket of sand.

[Shidohari]

i grant you your bucket of sand with shovel for making sand castles (free bonus)

I wish that the new years goes off without a hitch

Granted but it went off like a bomb, now there'll never be another New Years o_o

I wish for a delicious Ceaser Salad