Two Old Poems

Alright. So back when I was in high school, I was an extremely lonely person. Made fun of alot, so at the time, my self esteem was pretty much none existent. During this time, I remember writing two poems in the Journal Section on my Gaia Online account. So I figured I'd put them here. This first one, I have no idea what was going through my head, other then the thoughts of a girl I liked.

Like starlight gleaming off the surface of a lake, your beauty shimmers within my eyes. Magical touch, this unearthly grace which pull at my hearts strings. Entranced, enchanted as if with fae wings, you float with a heart stopping face. I watch and wait, not daring to speak, for fear you be but a dream, a fantasy. In stark silence your voice calls to me, like a beautiful call on the winds. From the darkness your light reaches me and lifts me up. With skin like marble, pale smooth and sweet, lips like lifes blood crimson, fiery red with passion, you seem as a creature wrought from legend, a woodland nymph whos beauty blind with but a glimpse. You are the pinnacle of all which beauty is measured. The wellspring of life, love and beauty, you create in me this undying love and compassion. This magical touch upon my heart this love that you share. With humble pride and grateful tears, I reach out to take your hand, with dieing light ghostly image fading, you pass through me without seeing me.

Now as for this second one, I'm not so happy with. It was at a time when I was alone quite alot. Alot of it is explained in the poem. So I'll just get it out of the way and stop talking.

I've been alone My whole life I just never knew Until last night When I'm with my friends I feel wanted But when I'm away In the dead of night A little voice says They're not really my friends They feel sorry for you It says That's why they're your friends You'll always be alone no one likes you It says to me again I know it's not true I know they like me But the voice won't give up On making me feel alone For years it's been saying this And for years I've denied it But the more it says it The more I cave You'll be alone till the day you die No girl likes you They won't bother with a chance It says to me Hurting my will This one was new A few months in time Making me feel more alone But this time it's true Girls don't give me a chance "You're a good friend" Is all they the say But if they would give me a chance They'd see I'm better then a friend The voice has been talking For years in time Making me feel alone, unwanted Every single time I try to fight I try to win But I've began to cave, Believing its words I started doubting my friends Wondering, are they really my friends? It kills me inside Not believing my friends But the voice is strong And it won't give in No matter how much I yell No matter how much I scream It won't give up And it won't give in.

So there you go. Two poems from back when I was in high school. Posted on Gaia around 2004, so nearly 7 years ago. Quite a long time ago.

[Shidohari]

very good work.

Thank you for sharing.

Unrequited love bites. It's inspired some great poetry over the ages, but it still bites. (Ah, Ontario. I was wondering how the military recruiters missed you--they fill quotas with confused and lonely youth down here, then act like it's a mystery when they have to explain the high suicide rate amongst the troops...) Great imagery, btw, especially in the first poem.