Name a hypothetical newspaper headline that would make you say "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Scientists prove statistically possible to 'have cake and eat it too'"

"Human growth hormone discovered, humans now able to be planted like tomatoes"

"Donald Trump wears hairpiece"

"Windows OS outlawed, jobs lost but Jobs happy"

"Study shows 98% of humanity will have ultimately boring lives"

"George Takei dead"

"Takei dead, headstone doesn't say 'oh my' "

"Mormons win court decision, coffee, tea outlawed"

"Trey Parker, Matt Stone sued for libel"

"US driving age readjusted to 28, no chance of grandfathering"

"Austria declares war on Serbia, Germany invades Beligium and France"

"1984 to become official US domestic policy"

"Cthulu in 2012 Presidential running"

"Kayne West crowned 'Voice of a generation' "

"Switzerland to join EU"

" 'Can I Haz Cheezburgers' to be admitted to Oxford English Dictionary"

"Christopher Poole arrested, servers shutdown"

"Kana arrested, servers shutdown"

sorry, I think I may have done too many...