TheRedAlchemist Poetry.

[TheRedAlchemist]

 

by ~TheRedAlchemist

I am A Shadow.
once was here. had a face. eyes to see, mouth to talk, ears to listen what you had to say to me. I had a neck for swallowing...and a chest to hold my heart which once beat red and flush. these arms were meant to hold and comfort you when you needed the love. these two hands were what created my soul, perfected my every move. they could touch your face when you were sad or lonley, even if you were a thousand miles away from me. I had scars on my fingers to remind me of how hard i worked to keep my head held up high.

now as i step into the shadows slowly away from your sight...i can no longer see what made me human. my face began to turn black...my eyes hidden in the darkness. my mouth silenced by the dark, and my ears forever hearing and observing. inside my chest a heart still beats but its turned blue. these arms that were meant to hold you in a hug, have turned cold and grey...a stranger. and as for my hands. i no longer see my scars, for now i know no boundaries. But here i am...you'll never know my name, you'll never see my face. You may not even remember my name. as long as you can see me...as long as i can listen, for my ears have become my eyes so i can view the world...trying forever for just once to make you proud of me. maybe one day...i wont ever fear of being a shadow again.
i need to feel.
alive.

 

by ~TheRedAlchemist

for why am i the first to cry
when the new batch of rain sets in?
when the storm of a rolling chill
carries the swift of the wind.

its more like the thunder
as it barrels down its couragous path
as i sit and wait here without you
forever waiting for this storm to pass.

 

by ~TheRedAlchemist

A gentle song can soothe a wounded heart, but when it refuses to beat, it dies. A heart has to live for something, a song, a memory. It yearns to hold more of the memories you made today, and promises for a lifetime to hold everything and anything for you that you wish to keep forever with you. But when that song it so desperately needs to beat to, stops all of a sudden, so does IT. It lives to take and recieve the things you give permission to let it. But as a token of appreciation you must sing to your heart before you can sing to the world, for it carries the tune you need to keep vibes strong. Go with the beat of your heart, and sing to yourself before you can sing to others. The practice is not taboo but a simple milestone one must overcome before making friends, meeting others and developing relationships. Your heart must learn to beat with you on your own terms. Once you have trained your heart that far, its only then will you lead your path to a success far greater than you ever could have imagined.

 

by ~TheRedAlchemist

you are but a seed. but so are we.
you look nothing like us on the outside.
you are different from me.
we, different from you.

you are but a stem from mother earth.
just an inch of green. us growing fast since our birth.
we've more leaves. you've none.
we, different from you.

our first bud is beginning. we stay strong within the wind.
you sway when the high winds blow.
you are different from me.
we, different from you.

into a full garden of roses we bloom.. we are red.
You are white. your difference gives color to our world.
we are different. we are alike in many ways.
you made US beautiful.

 

by ~TheRedAlchemist

Hi Al...welcome to the world. Im Ed your older brother! mom just had you two seconds ago. Dont cry...we're all here to greet you. your so tiny and fragile. Your little fingers and hands are smaller than mine. your my angel from heaven mom told me so i have to take good care of you no matter what. Since your not in mommy's belly anymore, can i hold you for the first time? i want you to look me in the eyes and see the promise i hold for you.

Hi Al...your two years old now and its Christmas eve. your running around the house naked making mom laugh again. you complete her world as well as mine. your features are starting to develop and your eyes are more set on different goals. Dont worry my little brother, here's your long-johns. there you go, all set. your not cold anymore are you? you've got me to look after you, my angel from heaven.


Hi Al...your 7 years old now. you just fell outside in the backyard and scraped your knee on a jagged rock. shhh, dont cry Al im here. Big brother will make it all better so it doesnt sting as much. hold still this water will clense it out. whats that? why are you telling me your sorry? dont be. its not your fault you fell. you have to get back up again and try to walk to mom so she can see how bad it is. i'll help you walk to her, just take my hand. i'll guide you to the light my angel.

Hi Al...you've just reached your tenth birthday. im sorry i snapped your party hat on your head too hard. that rubber string does sting when it hits your jaw. you blew out all ten candles and one for good luck all at once...i hope you get what you wished for my brother. Oh dont cut the cake yourself Al!! let me help you so you dont get hurt. there we go. a perfect piece. Your welcome, after all you are my angel sent down from heaven.

Hi Al...your 15 now...im sorry for mom, dad...and you. i didnt mean for this to happen, it isnt how i wanted it to be. now your stuck in that suit of armor. you cant feel physical pain, or love...only the guilt that seperates us now. do you think im a bad person for doing you wrong?...of course i am, and always will be. i took the light away from you my angel...i can no longer be the wings you need to fly, for i am the sin that bound you into eternal life, never to be free to fly to heaven.

Hi Al... i hear The Gate is calling my name... i have to leave now Al...will you be allright? i cant be here to protect you when you fall and cut yourself on accident... i cant give you hugs when you need them anymore. will you be ok if i left you here? your an angel but most of all you were my brother... Envy has me now. what happens when you cry? i wont be here to dry your eyes and tell you its allright. dont cry for me Al. let the wings i've given you open, and fly, fly away Al...dont forget me...remember my promise.

Hi Ed...i was never an angel. i could have stopped you, but i didnt. its the first time i read your diary, and the last time i will ever see your face again...all these years, brother you were MY angel. the one who was saving me every time i did wrong or got into trouble. why did you sacrifice yourself for me? was this the promise you kept telling me about? was it because you love me? it was the promise wasnt it..you knew all along what would happen...but why did you care? you were the one who held me up when i felt like falling, you were the one who told me i could do anything if i tried...but even i couldnt tell you to stop when we were bringing back mom...brother my wings are broken, i cant fly...i need you ...brother?...brother?....

 

by ~TheRedAlchemist

relieve the mind of this tortured soul,
for he who has walked the desert path
had for once tased the milk of the cactus.

for to be blind, and to look but refuse to see..
the aura of the burning kilidescope of wonders
has set a path that i must further follow.

to not know where one is going is how it is here.
caught in the webwork of an unfufilled dream.
would it be true there be more to life than this?
for where do my spiders lurk?

there be a holy ground, an untouched land.
toss this wretched maiden upon its shore.
for i too need to taste the milk from the land of the flowing.
and for once, feel heaven with my eyes.

 

by ~TheRedAlchemist

in this world we are always waiting.
waiting for a train to come.
waiting for a flight to catch.
waiting to fall asleep..

waiting......waiting.....waiting....

we wait for the sun to rise
we wait for spring summer and fall....
we are always waiting for something
even when our patience is running thin.

we wait some more.

waiting for someone to wake from their slumbers
waiting to take that first bite of food of the day...
waiting for a child to grow into a man or a woman..
waiting for the day we finally find our love.

we are in a constant waiting process.
life is a game of hide and go seek....
we must seek something to find it...and sometimes...
just sometimes....
we have to wait to find it.

every moment of our lives...

we spend...

waiting.

 

by ~TheRedAlchemist

It’s where I am,
But where am I?

Travel into the deep part of the forest
Where the grass grows blue and the leaves on the autumn trees turn pale white
You’ll find a mysterious woman crouched by a purple lake
Her golden white hair adorned with dull pink flowers and twigs
The wrinkles on her skin sagging into her fading eyes.
What she will tell you is something scary
Something you wish you never heard
But she tells you it’s where you will find me
And as she tells you she keeps on watching you, even as you leave
Just like a guardian angel in disguise as a demon, her eyes point north while you go south.
But what if she pointed the very wrong way?
What if I’m never found?
What if you get lost in this wilderness too?
What will they say then?
Nothing I think. Nothing. I’m floating in midair somewhere in this forest
I don’t know where I am
But the woman knows. The woman who sings me the lullabies and lulls me to sleep at night….
Somehow I think it’s her keeping me and I don’t know how. But I wonder
How long have I been dangling from this never ending vortex?
its like a tale without and end. The story just keeps living though I feel as if I’ve died.
Im tied by no boundaries and nothing a mortal can ever see or touch.
No mortal but the woman knows how I’m tied here.
Maybe it’s a dream, maybe its not. I fear her, yet I don’t. I don’t know her, but yet I do.
But now I can feel the binding getting tighter around my chest each day. It’s hard for me to breathe.
Creatures of the night seem to fear me here, though I fear them myself.
It’s black in this forest. I can’t see beyond the trees.
Alls I can see is the woman’s face, always smiling at me near the purple lake.
She always seems to be occupied there.

But…..yes….now I know

Of course…..

There is….

That purple lake.

 

its days like this when
im cold and all alone
and the rain wont ever stop
its then i know your truely gone.

i remember the day me and you
sat here at my window, smiling at me
you took your love into your hands and held mine with them
you pointed to the stars...and that alone set me free.

you made my tummy aches feel better
you soothed me when i was under the weather
you were the man i wanted to spend the rest of my life with
...i just didnt know it would all end with a midnight kiss...

with you, i thought my world was possible
together we were un-stoppable...


im sorry that i ran to you when i was hurting most
that day i felt invisible like a ghost
my cousin, my brother had died that night
due to a freak accident trolly flight...

and i had no one to turn to
i would hurt everyone if they knew
i was hurting too.

i am the orphan of love
divided by the secrets of eternal damnations light
crying as if it would bring you back every night...
i cry for your sacred touch, your elements and bliss
your blush, your laugh...and most of all your goodnight kiss.

 

by ~TheRedAlchemist

Time to let Go.

Hey Al its me, im Ed your brother. Your alert today, more than you were yesterday when mom held you in her arms for the first time--OW, Al! my finger! your holding it too tight!....its turning blue! Al, its time to let go.

Brother!!! its me, Al. can you teach me how to rock on the rocking horse? im old enough, i can take it! just watch! thanks brother....i appreciate your hand holding me on to keep me steady, but i think i got the hang of it now.....Ed, its time to let go.

AL!!! WATCH OUT! OH that damn tree! good thing you were wearing your helmet and crash pads...are you hurt? only a scrape...thats a relief. c'mon get up! get back on your trike...we're doing this until you get it right. hold onto my shoulder for now....are you all set? get ready, im going to push you just a little bit to get you started, NOW AL, NOW! its time to let go.


brother....it'll be allright..i swear. loosing mom wasnt our fault, was it? we're not to blame. it was that illness...but we've been holding her hand since she had passed a hour ago, but...do it with me, Ed. theres some things in this world im not ready to give up...but take MY hand instead, our mom cant be with us. its just you and me now..brother, its time to let go.

Al....i was a fool for dragging you into this...my glistening blood blankets this floor as my limbs were ripped from me...i got you back Al...its a sorry excuse for our foolishness to try to revive mom tonight...maybe ...she's truely gone...we tried so hard to say 'i love you' but it just ended up in a broken promise in which our dreams will never follow till the end. we're not Gods, but insignificant humans...tonight..our sins cant leave this home. we will have to burn it to the ground. Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust...come on Al...its time to let go.

brother, i havent spoken much since that day...i wish i could cry with you as i've seen you do almost every night since the accident. somehow you cant seem to forgive yourself for what we've done. its true our paths we took are the same, but i share that burden, brother. i remember what pain feels like. I only wish i had a heart to hold the pain that you bare. I wish that i could take that pain from you, hug you and feel the comfort of a hug once in a while for myself...but sometimes i wonder...am i just a memory? a figmet of what used to be, but is no longer? ...im not who i used to be...maybe its time to let go.

Dont look...i dont want you to see .....Al....im sorry you had to see my blood again. OUCH! it hurts so bad...i cant hold on much longer. i can barely see the ballrooms celing now. Envy is to blame. blood. i can taste the sweet bitterness of iron blood in my mouth....its getting blurry. i can only hope i'll meet you at the gate, Al. maybe....maybe its not over....dont forget me. i love you, Al, but....its time to let go.

MY BROTHERS STILL OUT THERE!!! i know it! i go to sleep and i dream that im with Ed...i cough like izumi used to and im sickly, but i build rockets that fly up into space...i know im with you somewhere, brother. i can feel it in my heart. im going after you....WINRY i can handle myself! you cant keep me here forever, winry, stop tugging on my coat and trying to prevent me from leaving. we're not kids anymore! dont you think that its time to let go?!

...Al...you sacraficed wrath to get to where i am? its differet seeing who you really are. it did scare me that i only passed through the gate and saw you...i tried to reach for you as the gate pulled me in closer, deeper but i missed. now you stand before me...telling me your memory is back...we made it, Al. we finally did it, you and I. All we have to do now is close that portal...its over. we've sacraficed alchemy but im sure ....

brother with the two of us....

Al, we can prove to the world we're better than ever before...

brother?

Alphonse?

both: our pasts are finally sealed, and we're still together...and there comes a time where you have to live and let live. Whats happened has happened, our road was paved before we were born and now we're finally here. its safe to say brother, You Can Let Go.