[Lesserpawn]

Katharine

This is the story of a young girl who brings joy to others; although she does not see herself this way…

Her name is Katharine and she is about to die. With the knife in her hands she places the blade gently against her fair skin, and prepares for a sleep without end, a dream without nightmare.

‘Alone and helpless, that’s what I am. What future can there be for one without family, without friends. Nothing is right for me, nothing will go right. I’m forever tormented by the guilt and shame of my life. Perhaps there is a place beyond this one, a place where the shadows over my life will be lifted, a place were my spirit won’t be thus confined. With these thoughts I comfort myself as the blood begins to flow more freely. I feel myself start to drift as I close my eyes.’

This is the story of Katharine; however this is the beginning and not the end. For you see when Katharine opened her eyes to the darkened void around her she saw three goddesses, Urd, Verdandi and Skuld. They floated freely in the air before her, their long gowns gently caressing what she hoped was the floor.

“What are you doing? Are you an idiot? Is life so bad that you wish it to end?”

Urd, the eldest of the three, spoke with contempt in her voice. She stood with crossed arms and a scowl upon her face.

“What can be so bad that you wish to fade away?

Verdandi, the middle child, spoke with a sweet and almost melodic voice, her eyes filled with sadness.

“You seem upset”

Skuld, the youngest and childlike in appearance, spoke with little interest.

Katharine could not believe what had appeared before her; perhaps the loss of blood was starting to make her delirious. She closed her eyes once more and tried again to drift into the never ending sleep she so craved.

“Hey I’m talking to you, what’s the big idea ignoring me?”
“Pray tell me what’s wrong”
“I don’t think she wants to talk with us”

Katharine shut her eyes tightly, attempting to rid herself of these three voices who were speaking to her. Her thoughts started to turn to self pity once more.

‘For delusions they sure make a racket. Can’t I have peace at least in death?’

“Who are you calling a delusion, we appear before you offering life and you call us but mere delusions?”

Annoyed at the unwelcome attention she was receiving Katharine opened her eyes and faced the eldest of the goddesses who stood before her.

“If you were to offer me life then I’ll save you your time and tell you I refuse. This is my end; I have come to accept that. What can life offer me; it brings me nothing but pain and suffering. Can you offer to take these things away, to take away the pain of loss, the agony of loneliness, the heartache which I feel? Can you take away this feeling that I am nothing more than a hindrance to all those around me? How! Please allow me to die for that is my only desire…”

Katharine paused as she found herself back home. There was no light or sound coming from outside but otherwise her room looked the same as always. The three that stood before her now appeared normal, except for the foreign clothes they wore.

“Who are you people, and why are you here?”

“I am Urd, a goddess of fate”
“I am Verdandi, I’m also a goddess”
“I’m Skuld”

“Why would a goddess be here to see me, much less waste their time with my life?”

“We do as we please with our time”
“We appear only to those who are unfortunate, to those who feel alone”
“Cause its fun”

“Am I unfortunate? I have done nothing to help others and made no difference to the world. All I have been is a burden to the people I care about and now they too are gone”

Slumped against a wall, the girl could no longer look the three in the eye. Why was she telling them all this? Perhaps because she believed her end was about to come and that her words would become mere memories? Perhaps it had been so long since she last spoke to others like this? The goddesses remained unmoved for a moment before Urd started to speak.

“Are all the people you care about gone? Is there no-one who you love?”

Katharine nodded. There was no-one she could say loved her. Feeling more depressed than before, she curled up into a ball and closed her eyes.

“Perhaps there is a boy you like who goes to your school; would you not call that love?”
“That’s right there is that boy”
“I’d almost forgotten”

Katharine looked at them, wondering who they were talking about. Verdandi raised her hands then everything became dark. Suddenly someone she recognised appeared under a light. It was a boy that she had known since childhood who lived not far away. His name was David. Verdandi appeared alongside the boy and touch his shoulder. He was seated at a desk looking out of a window, a gloomy expression written upon his face. The other two goddesses returned and addressed Katharine.

“Do you know who he is?”
“He is the one you loved, when love was still in your heart”
“You still like him, don’t you?”

Katharine was frozen, she felt warmer inside by just seeing him again. Her thoughts became silent as she stared at David. Her voice became weak.

“We are not close. I’m sure he has forgotten about me”

“But you do like him”
“We can see it in your eyes”
“You haven’t denied being in love with him”

Urd moved closer to Katharine, leaning over to whisper into her ear.

“Would you like to know what he is thinking right now?”

Curious, Katharine nodded. Urd pushed Katharine towards David while the other two goddesses stayed close. David rose from his seat and started to speak.

“I wonder what she is doing right now, she was always good at maths maybe I should ask her to help me? No, that won’t work. Perhaps if I invite a few others she might come? But then she might not see a reason for coming. Why can’t I just talk to her, what’s so difficult about that?”

Katharine slumped and turned back towards the three goddesses.

“You brought me here to tell me he already likes someone? That might be good for him, but I fail to see why you are telling me”

“You are a bit dim aren’t you?”
“Listen a little longer, won’t you please?”
“He seems to like this girl, don’t you think?”

Katharine returned to where she was a moment earlier and once again listened to David's thoughts.

“We’ve been neighbours for years, so she should agree to come over. Perhaps I should ask to visit her? She might think that a little aggressive of me. Why won’t you make this easier for me Katharine?”

Surprised at hearing that David had been thinking of her, Katharine took a step back before turning towards the goddesses. With her composure gone she was unable to speak for a few moments. When she started to think straight once again, she began to question whether these were truly David’s true thoughts. Perhaps there was another explanation.

“Did you make him say these things? He has never shown an interest in me”

“Oh, do you think we would make him say that? Perhaps we did, perhaps not”
“What he said came from the heart; what we control is fate, not the desires of others”
“Are you sure he has not shown an interest, or did you choose to ignore him?”

The comment from Skuld made Katharine annoyed. Why would she ignore him, she practically adored him. He was her first love from before she knew what love meant. But there is no way that he would view her in the same light.

“What would he see in me, I am not special. I’m not the best looking or the smartest; I don’t stand tall or confident. Why would he be interested in me?”

“Are you saying he would be attracted to my mature and rounded physique?”
“It is not the way you look or how you see yourself, but the way that you are that attracts him”
“Don’t you think you missed his approaches because you believed he wasn’t interested?”

“Don’t tell me what he thinks and don’t tell me how I think!”

Katherine yelled as loudly as her voice would permit her. She had become frustrated at these three visions and desired to be alone with her thoughts once again. But a part of her was curious and pondering a simple question. What if they weren’t lying? What if he really did feel that way about her, and that before her were the three goddesses of fate?

“You were asking yourself ‘what if we’re right?’ were you not?”
“You find it hard to trust in others, but please believe the truth we tell you”
“And if you really want to know for sure, then why don’t you ask him yourself?”

The three goddesses, David and her surroundings disappeared without warning. When Katharine could see again she was back in her own room, her wound now healed. Standing up from her bed she moved towards her phone. She already had David’s number, perhaps she should ask him. Still slightly drowsy, Katharine selected dial. As the phone started to ring she began to wonder what she should say. Before she could think of anything a voice spoke to her from the other side of the phone.

Part 2 below...