Welcome, Guest
It seems you're not logged in
You can do that Here
Or Register
91.8 The Fan




Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 06-21-2011, 12:25 AM   #1
littlefileuser
Newbie
 
littlefileuser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 21

Rep Power: 0
littlefileuser is meh
Sleeping Under the Sun (original poem)

I wrote this poem for a guy that I'm struggling with. It's a free verse and I'm not looking for any professional responses but just if my message is stated clearly. Any response would be appreciated though (such as personal input). I describe a dream that I had the other "day" about a guy that lives very far away from me.
So sleeping under the Sun,
I have nice dreams;
Your lips comin' to approach me,
The distance of my tongue.
And although I look away,
a mischievious smile,
You still look for me and try for the enchanting kiss.
It's annoying, isn't it, to see you in my dreams,
it's crazy, seriously, that I want to go back.
Who are you,
and where are you from?
No matter how far,
I'll always come.
It's that kiss you want,
the touch of my skin,
But for me, you see,
I want feelings.
A selfish love,
You don't have to say,
But wait for me forever until I arrive.
I'll be walking barefeet to you under the Sun.
*EDIT: The poem actually has many complex emotions to it besides the obvious "love letter" theme. It's very personal to me, and I would like to know what you guys think! :)
______________________


- littlefileuser -


Last edited by littlefileuser; 06-21-2011 at 01:05 AM.
littlefileuser is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2011, 12:38 AM   #2
Kusari
Fan
 
Kusari's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Your Speakers via New England
Posts: 88

Rep Power: 167
Kusari is meh
Re: Sleeping Under the Sun (original poem)

I actually really enjoyed it. The message does seem clear. At least to me it is. And I think it contains a fairly decent amount of emotion in it, too. Thumbs up!
______________________
Breaking The Chains of The Night, one link at a time...


Kusari is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2011, 12:43 AM   #3
littlefileuser
Newbie
 
littlefileuser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 21

Rep Power: 0
littlefileuser is meh
Re: Sleeping Under the Sun (original poem)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kusari View Post
I actually really enjoyed it. The message does seem clear. At least to me it is. And I think it contains a fairly decent amount of emotion in it, too. Thumbs up!
Thanks for the reply Kusari! Especially at this time! (my time)
:) Very appreciated.
______________________


- littlefileuser -

littlefileuser is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2011, 04:49 AM   #4
EagleEyes

Fanatic
 
EagleEyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Space Australia
Posts: 1,242

Rep Power: 217
EagleEyes has much to be proud of EagleEyes has much to be proud of EagleEyes has much to be proud of
Re: Sleeping Under the Sun (original poem)

Very nice!
EagleEyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2011, 04:52 AM   #5
littlefileuser
Newbie
 
littlefileuser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 21

Rep Power: 0
littlefileuser is meh
Re: Sleeping Under the Sun (original poem)

Quote:
Originally Posted by EagleEyes View Post
Very nice!
T-Thanks :D It makes me happy to see that, xD, I'm too easily satisfied. :P
______________________


- littlefileuser -

littlefileuser is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2012, 12:56 AM   #6
EmmaBlackstone
Newbie
 
EmmaBlackstone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2

Rep Power: 0
EmmaBlackstone is meh
Re: Sleeping Under the Sun (original poem)

It is meaningful and heart touching. A lovely poem about love.
______________________
Choose the best multi level marketing opportunities for successful multi level network marketing.

EmmaBlackstone is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
free verse , littlefileuser , love , poem , review , sleeping under the sun , uyen vo

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:20 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.