Hey, everyone: we made it. The final episode! In light of this momentous occasion, Shiki has even broken with the episode naming conventions. Whoa, Shiki! Slow down before you hurt yourself!

Abandoned in the woods (in a suitcase), Sunako wakes. Afraid, bewildered, she takes off running, presumably to find her Monky mate. Meanwhile, Cat Ear Hair Werewolf Dude runs from another crowd of hunters. He’s shot, flips end-over-end (reminds me of that scene from Watership Down, you know?) and is hit by a car. But joke’s on them – he steals the car and drives off. Until he crashes it and gets shot some more.

Megumi fantasizes about getting the heck outta Dodge. The Doc lectures his hunters for not staking CEHWD. Sunako cries. The hunters hear her. She runs again. Monk…dies? The Doc and some other guy head out to fight the fire raging at Yamairi.

Hey, Shiki fans: why did the Megumi cross the road? To draw attention to herself so the hunter would be able to stake her, obviously!

The fire can’t be helped. Yuuki makes a sad face at the corpses of his former friends. Megumi begs for her life and is run over by tractors (sort of an ironic touch, no?). She makes a hysterical speech about how much she hates the sleepy town of Sotoba, so someone runs over her head with a tractor. Yikes. Then they stake her.

CEHWD isn’t dead (SHOCKER). Instead he and Yuuki prepare to face off. Sunako is sighted in the woods. She runs. The Doc urges the townspeople to get to burnin’ bodies, even the women and children have to help toss ’em on the pyre and clean up the mess. Nobody leaves! Everyone works! That’s the rules!

Yuuki, dead-eyed and morose, half-heartedly fights CEHWD. Sunako ends up at the secret place she once shared with Monk. The forest burns. Yuuki admits he’s not pro-human, just vehemently anti-Shiki. My favorite bearded geezer catches Sunako. The fire comes closer. Sunako tries to fight but he head-butts her into submission. After a lecture on morality, he…is killed by the Monk?! NOOOOOOOOOO!

Yuuki and CEHWD fight their way into a pit of dead bodies (gross). Yuuki pulls some dynamite from his pocket and blows them up. Sunako and the Monk opt to die by fire in the burning chapel. OR DO THEY? Actually the Monk opts to get out of town via car and he’s got a box in the back seat. Gee, I wonder?

The Doc and some other survivors flee their burning village. The Doc wonders if anything he’s done matters. Seishirou wanders into the burning mansion.

During the ED, we find out Akira and Kaori make it, somewhat; she’s in a sort of trance at the hospital in one scene but I guess snaps out of it later. They run into Yuuki’s dad and some chick who’s name and story I forgot (the one who owned a store? with the sick mom?) on the bus. Small talk is probably awkward. The End.

Shiki gives us little nibbles of things that could be interesting (the Doc questioning his efforts, Yuuki’s admission that he’s not on the human’s side per se, Akira and Kaori making it out alive), but ultimately abandons these things in favor of blood and squishy sounds and absolutely nothing surprising. Which is about what I expected from the finale, since that’s how the series has been all along.

I love to make fun of Shiki (obviously), and while I think the story could use a major overhaul, I have to admit it’s not terrible. It’s not unwatchable. Great? No. Good? No. Average? Yeah, I guess I’d call it average. I feel like a mom after my kid has brought home a bad report card: I’m not upset, I’m just disappointed. Shiki, my dear, I know you could have done better but you didn’t bother to push yourself.

What did you think about Shiki overall? Would you recommend it? Do you give Shiki an A for effort? Maybe a B for gooey blood sounds?